This is how I feel right now. Empty, lost and desperate

This is the post I left on Facebook a few days ago. Only two people - my friend Becky and a person I have never met but follows my blog,.... Val - were the only two people to even acknowledge it. There is something wrong with our world when a person can put up this post ~ and only 2 people acknowledge it.

What has happened is,... as my life has deteriorated,... my posts have become darker and more desperate. But I find that noone wants to go near them. Very few people like a post that is showing you are struggling.

There seems to be two different readers. The first being people who are actually nice people. But they can't help you. First of all they are not responsible for you. But they also can't help you. So not being able to offer me something to help,... they feel inadequate. They want to help me. They see I am struggling. But honestly,... it just isnt' their responsibility. So they feel awkward and do nothing at all.

The second type of person if more dangerous to my mentality. The people who just think you are a drama queen and whining. So they dislike you and make nasty comments. Why they just can't leave you alone I will never know but instead they choose to make me feel worse than I already do by typing stupid negative commnets that are just designed to hurt my feelings.

Our society is so used to the chronic problem of poverty that it doens't even see me anymore. And when it does it just turns its head becasue theres nothing they can do. So when I post these posts in DESPERATION and get nothing,... I can't help but feel hurt. Not even a "sorry your going through this,..." Just NOTHING.

Society doesn't see poverty anymore.

I don't know what more I could have done to save myself. If you look on this blog I have been SHOUTING how miserable I am. How I can't physically cope anymore. But noone sees it. The world is SILENT. The world is completely silent,....

I can't go on. I mean physically alone I am just too tired. I can't even get groceries anymore,...

So my facebook posts ~ which only made me look like a desperate loser ~ were ignored. I'm sure they all rolled their eyes and thought "drama queen"

I'm so sad that I will die being unwanted,... unloved,... and actually did aske for help but instead got my ODSP taken away,...

I just cna't win and I'm too fucking tired to bother trying anymore.

What else should I ahve done to get help???? None wanted to even touch my desperate posts.... it was just too awkward to see this negativity on their timeline. So don't worry folks. i will no longer BLEMISH your timeline with my desperation.

These past few days have been a traumatizing realization that I have no life,.... and just need to die.