Scared to death of the future

 ODSP wants a mound of paperwork. I didn't do it. I don't understand governemtn red tape. I don't have the energy or the motivation to get all the paperwork they need. For what? They stopped my payments anyway so what do I need to do so much paper work for? It doens't matter anyway. The deadline for it all was today ~ September 22nd. So now I;ve officially lost everything. Medical,... dental,... prescriptions,... the lot. I have not done the work so it's gone. To be honest I handed it all over to my lawyer but I don't think the legal aid did anything either so ODSP is now nothing but a memory. And I'm not getting it back. Without I am desperate. So now these insurance non-earner benefits are my LIFELINE. If it weren't for these payments I would just close this case and take the loss and move on. But now that I have lost my ODSP,... I have to hold on to these non-earner benefit payments with my dear life and I have to have an active case to receive them. But honestly,... I am sick to death of the whole thing. The accident,... my physical problems I still have from it,... working with a lawyer that I have no idea what is going on with my case,... I asked my lawyer to phone me but he didn't. His legal aid instead sent a message saying "they are working on my case". (???) 

I just don't care anymore. 

There isn't going to be a settlement. It's not that kind of case. Apparently it wasn't serious enough. (??) And if there is a settlement in the future,... WHY HASN'T ANYONE LET ME KNOW.  I seriously have no idea what is going on with this case.  Absolutely NONE! At this point I just want the payments so I can eat,.... otherwise I would be closing this case ~ taking a loss ~ and moving on.

But once these non-earner benefit payments run out. And I have been given a date of December 2025. Then what the hell do I do? I am living with this overwhelming fear that I will be homeless and not have what I need to keep a roof over my head. I already struggle - without these payments I won't survive.

And at 61 years old,... I just don't need this stress. I should be retired,... living a life of peace and family and fun. But instead I live in absolute terror that I don't know where my next dollar is coming from. This is NOT a way to live. Fear,... I actually live in FEAR that I will lose my home.

I just cna't take the stress of all this anymore. It's gotten too overwhelming. But I literally have no idea what to do. I am fucked.

I am fucked

I am fucked

I am fucked