Another gorgeous sunny day!

Another gorgeous sunny day! I hope to be able to walk to Walmart today to get some supplies. My pain has subsided a bit since yesterdays flare up so I should be ok to walk. I want to try and be outside as much as I can now.

I forget to mention yesterday the best part of the day. I got to hold a baby. A cherubic little boy with blond hair and blue eyes and the most affectionate smile. It was the first time I have held a baby in over 10 years. I love babies. I always have. It's why I miss my granddaughter so much. So holding this little guy seemed to rejuvenate me. His adorable fat little feet,.. his eyes filled with the wonder of the young,... I didn't want to let him go. This is the mother I was concerned about coming into the gazebo last week. I don't dislike this woman. Infact shes quite sweet. I just don't like her bringing her baby out into the smoke filled gazebo. So instead of making a scene, I instead asked her if she would mind if I had a cuddle with him. And while I did, I just slowly kept creeping outside of the gazebo until I was outside away from all the smoke. Then I asked for a chair and I sat out there with him. I told her the sun was in his eyes so I was going to sit out there in the shade with him. Now,... we are all happy. Mom can have her smoke and I get a cuddle with an adorable baby. I told her I know she doesn't know us very well, but we would all be happy to watch her little guy for bits here and there if she wants to go out to the gazebo. I know what it's like as a young mom and it can be isolating and lonely. She is single so it's made even worse with no help from a partner. So I'm sure she would appreciate some time away from the little guy. So I hope she takes us up on it (myself and a couple of the older ladies offered). I really don't feel comfortable watching a baby sit in marijuana and tobacco smoke. But I get that the mother is lonely,... so I think this is a good compromise. and,... I GET TO CUDDLE A BABY!

And this morning,... I didn't wake up angry or unsettled. I woke up normal. That hasn't happened in a long time. maybe it's a sign the my stress level is dropping. (One can hope)

I still hate living here in this building and desperately want to move away from here. But I do realize that will probobly never happen. So I guess I will just have to try and make do. Or maybe I should put an add out,...

     "Single senior lady looking for accomodation. I have very little money and can only pay peanuts for rent. But I am like a pool barracuda. You set me free in your home and I just clean,... You won't even know I am there. If you have a room for me please get in touch. FYI: I am mentally ill and have physical deficits but that just adds to my charm. Give me a home and I will clean it. Just give me a home please"

I don't even dare go on dating sites. "Poorest of the poor lady wants to meet a man with a Harley and a home so you can take care of me,..." Don't think that would attract anyone. I actually did try dating sites many years ago but quickly realized it's only for booty calls. Not one man was on there for a relationship. Almost all of them were MARRIED looking for sex. I have always hated that. It's seedy and creepy and I just felt "ICK" so I stopped looking. Besides I have nothing to offer a man so I don't even look for one,... Infact having a man in my life is the absolute LAST thing I need. Instead I need money,... a new "safe" place to live and help with getting groceries. What I don't need is another KIRK cheating and lying and just messing with my head. I'd rather be alone with my cat.

But if there is a sincere man out there with a motorcycle and loves football then definitely hit me up with a message. Bikes and football,... you can't go wrong.