No physiotherapy

The physiotherapist phoned me tonight. Sunday night at dinner time, I was in the middle of eating but talked to her anyway. She wants to know what I want to do about physio. What is wrong with these people? Nothing has changed and they know it. I NEED A DOCTOR beofre I do anything. No physiotherapist is touching my body without me seeing a doctor first. AND,... not until I get on pain medication. Are they expecting me to go through physio cold turkey? Without being under a doctors supervisipn? The pain would be excruciating and I would just have to quit.

The physiotherapist was trying to convince me and was saying "we want to help but you didn't want to,..." so that tells me that they blame me for stopping physio. They don't believe I need to see a doctor before I start physio. She said she could read the MRI results herself. I don't believe her. She is NOT A DOCTOR! She also said in the very beginning that she understands fibromyalgia but she obviously doesn't if she is expecting me to do it without a doctor prescribing pain meds. She just doesn't understand the pain involved AFTER the sessions. The days I can't move and have to stay in bed. WHY IS NOONE UNDERSTANDING I HAVE FIBROMYALGIA AND I CAN'T!? I honestly think they think I just don't want to.  Now I feel like physio is pressuring me to do it. But I don't have confidance in this physio therapist as someone that knows fibromyalgia and understands its limitations. She cant if she thinks I can do physio without a diagnosis or pain meds. She just isnt' getting it. Anyone with fibromyalgia that is reading this knows EXACTLY what I am talking about. Once you fuck up fibro it's nearly immpossible to get back to where you were. And it's a long and painful journey to do it. I NEED A DOCTORS SUPERVISION AND CARE AND PAIN MEDICATION FOR THE PAIN. 

I get the feeling this physiotherapist doens't believe I need either of those things before I start.

You don't fuck around with your body when you have fibromyalgia. The consequences are way too severe. I know because I have lived with it for over 30 years. I know what I am am talking about. 

So I think my lawyer is upset with me for not continuing on with physio as he really doens't know what to do for me if I don't do it. If I'm wrong,... maybe he should pick up the phone and communicate with me because right now I have no clue what is going on.

But I know one thing for sure. I will not be starting physio without a doctor or pain medication. Even the OT through the lawyers office said I needed to be on medication. If HE knew,... then so should the therapist. I just don't trust her now with my care. I will not be going back to her. 

There is just too much going on now. This case,.. my pain,... the loss of ODSP,... no support,... it's all getting a bit too heavy now. 

I could really use some support right now,... :(  I have no one to talk to about this but this blog,... it really can be difficult having noone to get a perspective from. Because now all I am doing is thinking I am NEVER going to get better and at this point I don't even care anymore. 

NOONE is listening to me. I need a doctor and pain meds,... Why is noone listening to me????