Not the best of news

*** sigh *** 

Everything has changed ~ again ~ and not for the better this time.

The home is gone. The park it was in is switching over to seasonal and not doing 12 month occupancy so that deal is gone,.... gone,.... gone,...

But that isn't even the reason I won't be moving soon. During the FIFA game this afternoon, I started getting palpatations in my chest. I took my blood pressure and it was very high. So I called the walk-in and got an appointment. It was still high when I got there. He prescribed me medication and then made an appointment with a heart specialist. I have to get bloodwork done as well. I asked him if I was ok to fly, as I am off to BC in 2 weeks. He re-listened to my heart and said yeah. Just make sure I get myself to that heart specialist.

My grandfather died of a heart attack at a very young age. 50. He left my grandma pregnant with 7 kids. My cousin John is still alive but he had a heart attack in his 50's (I'll be 63 in September) He had 95% blockage and 3 stents put in. 

So, I have been told not to over exert.

So my BC trip might look a bit different. No surfing or ocean swimming. Maybe more sight-seeing and enjoying cafe's and restaurants this time. 

And,... I have to put looking for a new place on the back burner. Not wise to cause myself more stress. So once again - my plans have changed. Now nothing gets done until I see this heart specialist.

So now I just go and enjoy BC and then deal with my heart when I get back. Whatever that ends up looking like. Once my health is under control I will resume looking for a home.

So now I sit here with my apartment packed. I have just the day-to-day stuff left out but everything else is already packed up in boxes. I thought I would have been moved by now.

And i didn't have to get Molly and Murphy re-homed so quickly either. I still struggle with missing them. But it was better to rehome them as kittens rather than when they were older and I love the family they went to so I know they are well loved and looked after. But boy do I ever miss them. The apartment seems so quiet and still now.

I got a ride to Georgina

I got a ride to Georgina!!!! June 17th!

This is awesome news!!! The mobile home I want is still for sale and I finally got a ride to go and view it.

It's dropped in price so much if I like it I can buy it cash and have NO MORTGAGE!

Can't write right now as the Canada game is on but I was so excieted about getting a ride that I had to post

Can someone drive me to Georgina??

It's here! FIFA 2026 is here. I have waited four years for this and I intend to watch as many games as I can. Today Canada plays at 3. It feels nice to have something to look forward to. 

Yesterday I was doing what I do every morning, scrolling through the internet looking for a place to live, when I came across one of the first mobile homes I reviewed months ago and liked. Only now the price has dropped 3 times bringing it down nearly $80.000!! It is also priced at under $100,000 which means I could buy it outright without a mortgage or loan. PERFECT!

But I need to get there. HOW? No transportation,.... so I made a post on facebook asking for help but got nothing. I also looked up bus and train routes and it can actually be done but I would have to take about 5 modes of transprotation and it would take me all day just to get there. But it can be done,....

After the bullshit this past week here in my building I have decided NOT to wait and to get the hell out of here now. So I did something I probobly shouldn't have done but I am desperate enough that I felt I had to.

I called my cousin Sandy who lives in Toronto and is a real estate agent. We aren't talking presently. We just dwindled apart. (I always felt like she just didn't like me so I avoid her) So right now I am waiting to hear from her to see if she will help me. If not,... I do the bus/train/taxi thing and get there on my own. But either way,.... I am going to get there. I can't stand where I am living and need desperately to get out. I think at this point I would hitch-hike to Georgina if I had to ~ I am that desperate and miserable living here.

I am DESPERATE

If you are reading this and can drive me from Fergus to Georgina please message me!!!! I am DESPERATE

I am not above apologizing

 I have always said that I am not above apologizing if I am wrong. And today I am having to do just that. I just got a call from Housing and they DID actually check the cctv footage and Darren green did NOT take my keys.

So, even though I hate this kid with a passion,... I have to report that I was wrong and Darren Green did not take my keys. I apologize to Darren (even if it kills me to do so). But if he didn't take them he doesn't deserve to be blamed. 

I apologize!!!!!

But,... where did my keys go? The cctv footage shows me with the keys going into the laundry room. But I don't remember where they went after that. I remember putting the laundry in and then going to my unit to get my walker to go out to the gazebo for a quick smoke before coming back in. I never lock my door (I have a doorbell camera) so I didn't need my keys. They just disappeared,.... I have ripped this whole apartment apart 3 times. I am confident they are not here. They have either been lost off of my walker as i was going outside and they are outside and someone picked them up????? Or did I 'lose' them in the gazebo somehow. It is a complete mystery. Housing asked could someone have lifted them out of my cup holder on my walker while I was in the gazebo? Yes,... possible but not probable. At this point I guess I'll never know.

But if I lost them somewhere outside - who picked them up and KNEW they were mine with my manchester United Lanyard that everyone knows I wear nothing but Manchester United,... Noone would have to ask whos keys they were. Most would know they were  mine. And if they didn't,... why not leave them in the common room where I keep looking,....???

I guess I'll never know.

No respect for animal abusers and those who stick by them

I tested her and she lost ~ miserably. The new girl I dislike came to me in the gazebo looking for info and then blabbed it to Mark and Darren. I knew she was just informatin hunting. But I wanted her to hear what an animal abuser Darren really is. But even after hearing me say he scruffs his cat and puts his head under the running water screaming "I'll show you who's boss"  OR putting his cats head in a hurrican lamp glass and forcing it to get high by blowing smoke into the glass,... thats' ok? Apparently it didn't bother Kelly. I told her about his rages - to be careful around him - and how he rages every single day at his poor cat. We hear him all the time - screaming,.... that poor little cat. But that didn't bother Kelly.

Darren Green used to be like a son to me. But the second I heard him abuse that cat of his ~ it was all over. And I just don't understand how others can candon it. Kelly barely even knows Darren yet she still choose HIM over me telling her the TRUTH ~ why are these people protecting an animal abuser and rager??? (Becasue he sells the weed??? I don't get it)

Basically I told Kelly the whole story. TRUTHFULLY ~ I tried to be a MOM to him but all he did was grift,... take, take, take,.... he used me. I even had tears telling the story. (yes real tears)  Kelly sat and listened and 'looked' sympathetic but apparently the whole time she was getting info for darren and mark. I pretty much knew she would, but this proved that she is a 'penis lady',.... a woman who would rather be with a man - no matter how horrible he is - just to be with a man. In my world growing up, woman held each other up. We stood together in unity to show support to all woman. But not Kelly,.... she knows Darren is an animal abuser yet she CHOOSE to pretend he isn't and become his little BITCH TATTLER. Woman who hear the truth yet choose to ignore just so they don't have to stop being with a man is disgusting. I call them PENIS women. They throw honest women under the bus so they can be around men and be in the 'mens' camp. Her choice ~ but it was the wrong one. I now hate this woman - yet have to see her every fucking day in the gazebo. These people are nothing but shit disturbers. instigate,... poke,... disturb,... anything just to be nasty.

Kelly ~ you best stay away from me lady,.... I have some words for you!!!!

I told her there was a police report. I told her that the police actually called the humane society (not me) as when they heard him they were horrified at how he treated his cat. THEY don't lie. Kelly - you can pretend I am a liar or that I didn't tell you he was a animal abuser,... but the truth is YOU KNEW and choose to be friends anyway,....you can bury your head in the sand but the truth is ~ HE HURTS ANIMALS. So for you to protect him  - then I have lost all respect for you. YOU condone animal abuse by siding with him. By accepting it,.... what a dumb bitch. Man hungry bitch

So now there is yet another war in the gazebo. All because some bitch who is brand new couldn't keep her nose out of business that had nothing to do with her and happened years ago when she didn't even live here. She was so desperate to be 'one of the boys' that she ignored me telling her he abuses animals and likes him anyway,... that tells me all I need to know. DESPERATE FOR PENIS and hates women - NO RESPECT!!!!!!! I really don't know why women would do this to other women. You will have to ask her,...

And the grifting is out of control here too. We all make the same amount of money which is barely nothing. But I have taught myself to budget and even though life is bare sometimes - I still manage to get by without going hungry. Yet the young ones in this building spend all their money in a few days and then grift off us 'old-timers' (because we CAN budget) for the rest of the month ~ as their  money is gone. Adrian was complaing no money yet when we received our grocery and essential benefit this month (most got over $200) I put mine away in the bank for my trip. Adrian bought beats headphones and then yesterday came to me for stuff he couldn't afford. He actually got a free bong bowl from me as I just gave up and gave it to him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????? I am so sick and tired of the grifting. take, take, take,.... buy your own stuff people and stop asking me.

If you can't tell I am sick of living here. I am desperate to move out of here,.... DESPERATE!!!!!

Looks like I'll be dead soon anyway

what to do?

Yesterday was so upsetting that I know I need to get out of this building for the sake of my mental health. So I just made an appointment with a financial advisor. I need to talk to someone who is not biased about my money. I have spoken with a person at my bank but I want another opinion as I'm sure an independent can offer me more options.

I hate to admit this, but it looks as if I may have to stay here for one more year. I just don't have quite enough money right now to buy a trailer comfortably. I can buy one and have my budget so tight I'm not sure I will even enjoy my new place. Or, I can wait and roll my money to make a bit more and maybe even have the real estate market collapse even more giving me more options there too. But I don't know the financial or real estate world anymore. I would be a fool to try and navigate it myself. I need help ~ which is why I need to talk to someone

But can I last another year here????

I hate these childish playground games - get me the fuck out of this hell-hole

Here we go again,... Darren Green making my life miserable. Yesterday while doing laundry I accidently left my keys in the laundry room. When I realized a few minutes later, I ran back to get them, but they were gone. I looked around the whole laundry room. No keys. And, mysteriously, noone was doing laundry so who was even in there to see and take them???? I looked everywhere for those keys. But they are well and truly gone. As I was walking around looking for them, I saw Darren starting laundry. Ahhh,.... now it was becoming clear. Darren must have went to do a load of laundry,... saw my keys,... saw an opportunity to take them, so he did. But he knew he couldnt' do his laundry right then as it would look too obvious. So he went back to his apartment and waited 20 minutes and then went back and then started his laundry so he could say "I just got there,... I didn't see any keys" 

But I know he has them. It's too obvious. I leave them - darren sees them and now they are gone,...

So I immediately called housing and let them know and asked them to go and look at the cctv footage. They cancelled my fob so noone can use it but the mail key is on that ring and the thief has that. I don't trust housing to help. They haven't helped in the past so why would they start now. I can almost guarantee you that they won't even check the cctv footage.

But to top it all off,... Darren has gone back to deflecting to save his own ass. The first thing he did was to run outside and tell everyone and spin his stroy. I stayed silent. 

But later in the gazebo I was alone when Kelly came out. The new girl I don't really like as she is friendly with Darren. She was so obvious it was almost humourous. She couldn't wait to ask "So, did you find your keys?" I knew she was fishing for info for Darren so I only gave her a one word anser - NO - and shut up. She wasn't satisfied - she needed to know more. So I told her the whole damn story. How it all started over me catching him abusing his cat. And from that day on all he does is throw me under the boss so I wont tell anyone what he really did. I don't think she believed me but I dont give a shit. IT IS THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!

It's all childish nonsense and I have had enough. Kelly was so obvious. She was working for DARREN. Darren got to her,.... that is exactly how he operates. He throws the spotlight off of himself by throwing someone else under the boss. And because I won't stoop to his level and fight back - I lose. I keep my mouth shut as I refuse to be a gossip like all the rest of them but in keeping silent I dug my own grave. Darren was able to say what he wanted to everyone while I hid in my apartment. I refuse to be lowered into his childish head games. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID and I dont care who doesn't believe me.  I KNOW and DARREN KNOWS and thats all that matters to me. 

But boy am I pissed at this nosy Kelly chick. This is NONE of her fucking business. I am so tired of this lets gang up on Jacquie bullshit. Darren is like a playground little girl. He is a MEAN GIRL. 

But I really don't give a shit anymore. I am just going to get the fuck out of this building as soon as I can. ANY WAY I CAN,... and sadly if I dont' find a place to live,.... I will end my life!!!!! I can't take this bullshit anymore,....

Childish fucking nonsense and I refuse to be dragged into it.

Darren ~ just give me my fucking keys back and stop being a little drama queen. But most of all ~ STOP telling people lies about me. We both know you abused your cat and I caught you!!! THAT is why you are mad,....  THAT is the reason you are so angry. I DID NOTHING WRONG ~ yet you had to ruin my life by throwing me under the boss to save your own cat abusing ass. You don't deserve to have a pet. Even now I walk by and I still hear you yelling at that poor little cat,.... Darren, you have severe rage issues you need to deal with. SEVERE rage issues. GET SOME FUCKING HELP and stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes. 

What you have done to me just shows you for the coward you are. Instead of owning up to your mistake - you deflected it onto me. Your not a man - your a fucking little boy who ruins others lives to save his own,... grow up.

I dont' care how many people you lie to and turn against me,... I will be gone soon. But you? You have to live with your lies until the day you die,... good luck at the pearly gates of heaven when you have to finally be accountable and admit what you have done. You can lie to anyone you want and get away with it. But someday you will be accountable,....

that is karma and that is what I wait for,....

KARMA Darren - it's coming for you! Not by me,.... but it's coming for you,....