I have never felt more invisable and unworthy in my life

 

I am sitting here in two layers of clothes,... a thick fluffy housecoat,...a winter hat,... slippers with wool socks and I am still cold,....

FUCK THIS SHIT

I didn't get my MAiDs application as the woman had the wrong address. She phoned me this morning. I didn't like her. She just blamed me for the mistake. Then she went on about we didn't have your phone number. You MUST leave your phone number! Obviously I thought I had but must not have. But here I am trying to access DYING! And she is repromanding me for asking for the application wrong,...

I give up

So as this poster says,...... If noone is coming to save me,... then it means noone is coming to stop me,.... and what I do from here on in is a necissity after being invisable to this country.

I got fed up of waiting to be seen and heard 

Now I just do it and they can all go to hell

I do it my way now ~ I asked for help and waited five years- noone came

I am so invisable to this world I can't even access MAiDs. I have tried everything but I am invisable to this world. They said they would send out an application 3 weeks ago. NO APPLICATION.

I have tried for 5 years to get MAiDs but noone takes me seriously. I am invisable. I have called every number given to me but every number failed me. Just said they couldn't help and gave me another number,.... I TRIED!!!!!

So forget MAiDs ~ If i dont'exist to them either then I take matters into my own hands and I do what I have to do to get pain relief.

FUCK YOU WORLD for letting me suffer alone. 

Not sure what more I could have done to get help. BUT EVRYONE failed me.

I'm done

I do it MY WAY NOW

I am freezing but I guess I'm to fend for myself

I am freezing! I wear three layers of clothes with a winter hat and gloves and I am STILL COLD! And once the cold gets into my bones I am done. Amd it has,.... 

I am in so much pain I am fucking miserable

I am rationing my propane to only showers and dishes. Once it runs out I have NO HEAT and NO HOT WATER and that will be any day now. So I am afraid to take a shower for fear the propane will run out while I am in it. And once it does,... the water is ICY COLD and there is no way to shower in it.

So I am sitting here counting down the days until I go from freezing to NO HEAT AT ALL!!!!!!!

And then what do I do??? I am fucked. Superior Propane won't pick up their tank until I pay their extortion fee of nearly $600. This is never going to happen as I dont'' have that money.

All of my money is GONE

And I am living back in severe poverty. One hamburger a day and two bowls of ceral,.... thats my groceries.

But as for the past few days? I can't get warm,.... and winter hasn't even started yet,....

This is INHUMANE!!!!!!

What I do from this day on is nobodies business.

I asked for help,.... none came,....

Now I do what I need to do to find peace

So tired of being scammed!!

 So, I have been scammed again,...

After my last post, one of my subscribers contacted me through the comments. They had a very interestig fact for me. The RV I purchased and was promised it was four season,... is NOT actually a four season.

IT IS NOT BUILT FOR THE WINTER

I have been lied to again.

My cousin specifically said I need a four season. I remember the whole conversation. The dealer said I didn't need one living on Vancouver Island but my cousin who has lived in an RV for 20 years here on the island actually interupted him and insisted I have a four season. To sell me anything different after hearing that was deliverate lying!

I have FM. I can't be cold. It's why we insisted on the four season.

Now everything is a mess.

Warranty? I am just as confused as everyone else. I thought I had one but after a few days of buying it their office emailed me a quote for $4000 for a warranty. I laughed. It's suppose to be turn-key. Why would I NEED $4000 worth of warranty? 

NOW I KNOW!

I cant afford lawyers who will eat up my money anyway.

No,... I am done. I am soooooo fucking done,....

I am so angry I can't even think right now. But the one thing I do know is I AM DONE.

No more bullshit from this society.

I just need to DIE now

Roll on MAiDs application,.... I don't have much time left

Just want to die now

 I have officially given up. 

Ny cousin was nice enough to come and put up plastic on my windows as this RV can't maintin heat and I am freezing. So he did a trial window. It worked well. But,... now I can't see out of this window. He is doing all the rest tonight. So as of tomorrow ~ not only do I live in a tin can where everything is broken,... but now I can't even see outside.

My dream home has now become my PRISON. A 230 square foot prison. Cold and now I can't even see outside.

This is torture.

So I had a discussion with my cousin. A discussion I was afraid to have. He has bent over backwards to help me. Yet,... it has been a failure. 

I gave up. I was worried my cousin would be angry after all the hard work he has put into this RV. But surprisingly he agreed with me. He too sees this RV is a lemon and that I have been scammed once again. But theres nothing he or anyone can do to help me. 

I am fucked.

So I told him I am applying for MAiDs (medical assistance in dying) and again I was expecting him to get angry and walk out. But he didn't do that because he sees it. He sees my horrible conditions and he gets it. It has left us both angry (not at each other but at the world) he doens't have a great life either so he totally gets it.

And now that the news has been given I can move forward on it. I still have not received my MAiDs appication in the mail???? So today my whole goal is to get onto MAiDs and get this ball rolling.

Noone in Canada ~ at 63 years old ~ should be thrown away and left to rot. But thats what Canada has done to me.

So now I give up.

I am actively doing everything I can to die now.

Hurry up Maids,.... I just want to be gone now. For the pain and suffering to end.

I am very angry life has done this to me. Scammed,... conned,... bullied and left to deal alone. Isolated and heartbroken that I am so under valued and invisable to the Country i used to be so proud to call my home. 

Now at 63 I sit in a freezing cold RV I can't even see out the windows in feeling cold and claustrophobic to the point I am going mad.

No health care,.... I'm in invisable

No help at all,.... I am disposable

And coming to this realization has left me devastated that I am so unworthy to anyone.

So roll on death,... you can't come fast enough to get me off of this planet and out of this pain and suffering.

 I am totally broken,....

I am walking away from RV life,...

Selling this money pit of a tin can,....

I'm done

But I have nowhere to go or money to move there 

So it's time,...

If society won't allow me to afford breathing 

then I leave this world

Buying an RV is a scam. They are garbage!!!!

DO NOT BUY A NEWER RV!

When I bought this RV, it was because I was in a desperate situation. I had to get out of a toxic situation in Ontario. My plan was to move to BC. Buy an RV and start a fresh life. Seemed fool-proof in theory. In practice,... it has been a nightmare.

What annoys me most of all is that I did my homework. I researched RV's for 5 months before I bought one. The one thing I did hear over and over again from the RV community was that RV's built after covid (around 2020) are all manufacturing GARBAGE! But the problem with that is,... that RV Parks will only allow new RV's to use their parks now. Ten years old and newer. So I had to buy a newer RV so I would have parks accept me for the next 8 years. Anything after 2016 will not get you into any RV parks. The system doens't allow you to buy older, better built RV's. So we are forced to buy newer ones and then we have all found out newer ones are garbage! 

I have a 2024 Rockwook Mini-lite. 26 foot. It looks beautiful!! When I walked onto the "Arbutus RV sales lot" I asked to see 4 season RV's. The sales men immediately said on Vancouver island you won't need a four season RV. Luckily for me I had my cousin with me and he immediately cut him off and said we only want to see 4 season RV's. They only had 4. I looked at the one I bought and i fell in love. It was beautiful. All shiny and clean and sleek looking. Both Brian and I gave it a good going over and saw nothing to concern us.

I went ahead and paid $51,000 for this RV.

I was promised it was turn-key. No problems - just  move in and enjoy.

Lets move ahead to last night. I WAS FROZEN. I have learned that this trailer has no way to maintain the heat. It instantly disappears through this shoddily built tin can. When the furnace is on (run by very expensive propane) I am warm. But 5 minutes after the furnace shuts off it is freezing again. All the heat has disappeared. Last night I didn't even sleep I was so cold. I sat up in 3 layers of clothes. A winter hat and blanket with a hearting pad plugged into a bluetti charger (as plugging it into my wiring would short it out). 

I was still cold. Toasty warm when the furnace ran,... but after it stopped the cold rushes right back.

To date I have spent so much money I have gone into debt. When I started this move I had over $100,000.00. Today I am in debt. This RV hemorrhaged money out of my bank account. Every day something new broke I had to replace. I have spent thousands on repairs just to make it livable and I have only been in it for less than 3 months.

I belong to a few Facebook RV groups and I am seeing that I am not the only one who has been scammed by this industry. THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of people are facing the same harsh reality. The Rv's we spent our life savings on, are garbage. I only lost $100,000.00 but there are people who paid well over $200,000 (and more) for their new RV's for a fresh new start and almost all of these folk are regreeting their buy.

RV manufacturing is a joke. Everything they produce now is garbage. And, WE, the consumer are paying for it.

I myself have decided that my life has to end. I have been scammed,... used,.... conned and bullied once too often and now I have given up. I am old,... disabled and in pain. I refuse to live my last few years in a freezing tin can miserable. Unable to get the health care I need I am deciding to give up.

Last night was horrible. FREEZING cold. I dont deserve this. I did my homework. I did everything right and yet life scammed me anyway.

I am learning that life will never let me win.

To the people making and selling RV's. STOP taking good folks money just to have them watch their homes fall apart right infront of their eyes.

Our dreams,.... our hard earned money,.... GONE. Stolen by an industry that just doens't care what happens once that tin can drives off their lot.

Well I, and many, many others are paying for it.

Every single day I find something else that is broken and will cost me more money to fix. Well as of today I no longer put one more penny into this lemon. Infact,... I am thinking of how I can walk away from this RV altogerther. It's a badly built tin can that can't even hold any heat. And I am stuck with it. Can't sell it as it has depreciated so much I wouldn't get my money back. But I can't live in it. You can't live in a place that you have to wear a winter hat and 3 layers of clothes to stay warm.

I did not deserve this. But I am too tired to care anymore,....

I just want to be gone now. Die of a heart attack and escape this mess.

I hate my life and just want to die now. And with my heart problem, that probobly won't be long from now. I would say weeks rather than months i will be dead.

And after the past 10 years ~ I couldn't be happier I will die.

Get me off this unfair horrible planet ~ I have had enough.