I am no longer dealing with 'the system'

They have let me down. Now I protest.

This is the note I leave in my mailbox outside my door if the cops show up:

***********************

no transfer - I end my life

 All I wanted was a fucking transfer out of this building ~ but no one would give me one, because to Ontario Housing ~ we are all the same.  Fucking useless worthless pieces of shit Karens

Well you treated me like shit ~ now I act like shit and fucking end my life. And I hope Ontario housing can sleep at night knowing all they had to do was give me a fucking transfer. But they said no because the people underneath them ~ and yes I use the word underneath because that's very significant. They think of us as poor worthless pieces of shit they have to CONTROL and KEEP IN LINE. While they are Elite - so m uch better than us. And it shows,..... well I hope they can sleep at night because all they had to do was give me a transfer.

But I wasn't worth the bother,....

 and they refused.

 And now I'm going to be dead.

All I wanted was a fucking transfer

Fuck Canada - I'm fucking done and ending it all

 I had my heart specialist appointment yesterday,.... I did not go.

I called them to cancel over 50 times but they dont answer their phone so I have no way of contacting this doctors office. WTF? Since when do offices never answer their phone? I have tried calling all yesterday all the day before and even this morning but this office NEVER answers their phone. So fuck em,... they can just know I didnt' show up.

I am so upset about my housing that I have decided I just want to hurry up and die. I AM NEVER GETTING OUT OF ONTARIO HOUSING  and I am not ok with that. I would rather die than live in this building.

So no heart specialists,....

no doctors at all,...

no more medication to keep my blood pressure lower,...

I want it high!!! I WANT to die of a heart attack and I hope it's today.

This fucking country has let me down and I am not going to suffer becasue of their mistakes,...

fuck Canada - I'm fucking done

Now I do my own MAiDs

Well the decision has been made.

MAiDs pulled a fast one and now they are NOT doing mental health as the criteria as promised. I went to MAiDs and was told if I wait until 2027, MAiDs will allow me to access them through their mental health side. So I held on,.... and on,.... and on,....

and now,... they have backtracked and are not even going to allow mental health as a criteria.

So,... I followed the rules,... I waited,.... now they have fucked me.

So I do my own maids ~ downtown eastside vancouver ~ a huge fatal overdose and I will finally find peace.

Sick of waiting for help,.... I am invisable

So now I am booking a hotel in Vancouver. The day I leave to go back home, I get on aplane from Nanaimo to Vancouver. Instead of catching my connecting flight to Toronto ~ I am staying.

I have had enough of being placated,.... fobbed off or worse yet invisable.

I hate my life,... I held on becasue this province promised,.... but they AGAIN let me down,....

FUCK YOU ALLL

I am done

I waited - you deceived me - now I do my own MAIdS

actively wanting to die now

 

Refusing all medical intervention

Not taking my medication

Doing absolutely everything I can to die

to finally escape this fucking poverty

I would rather be dead than live this fucking poverty and pain

 This is my blood pressure today

 I am so angry 

And this is me on blood pressure medication

 I hope I fucking die today!!

My country and my province have let me down and I am not going to suffer because they fucked up!!!!!!

I would rather be DEAD!

even our MP doesn't care

The letter I sent to our local MP this morning:



I sent you a letter on June 1st but I got no reply.

I have heart disease and I am dying of it.

But since I am trapped in this building I can't live in,.... and there is NO AFFORDABLE housing anywhere in Canada,.... I have had t make a very radical decision.

What is the point of heart surgery to get better if there is no place to live?

So as of today,....

I am refusing all medical treatment.

I am absolutely miserable living here being harassed and bullied and threatened but because I have looked for two years for affordable housing I am confident in saying CANADA does not have nay affordable housing.

So I am choosing DEATH.

I would rather die of a heart attack than be homeless.

But even after writing you,... just like the rest of the world, you didn't even bother to answer. I was just another annoying KAREN to you. You didn't even think I was important enough to even answer,.... and your just like the rest of them. If you can't help then you just ignore and let suffer.

I don't need your help anymore
I am choosing to die.

I don't know what one has to do to be seen and helped in this community

So I choose to leave it

And my heart is broken that I have been so INVISABLE and WORTHLESS I don't even get answers from people = just ignored.


Jacquie Holyoak