I fucking hate immature little gossips with nothing better to do than ruin lives,.... hate it!!!

I don't think anyone will be using the gazebo today. LONGEST WINTER EVER

I hate waking up in the morning. Because I know I have 16 to 18 hours of time to fill and I have nothing to do but watch tv and clean. I sit there knowing I have to live another day of BOREDOM and being hated. I really just wish I would have a heart attack and die. The monotony of 'nothingness' is getting unbearable.

At least today is game day. Manchester United play at ten this morning so at least I have something to look forward to. Even if it does only take up a few hours of my day. Life really has become all about finding stuff to do to combat the boredom. But with no car or transportation,... the winter becomes a secluded prison sentence hibernating inside my unit unable to go anywhere. With spring just around the corner I am hoping I will be able to get back outside and start living again.

I found something out yesterday. I have an aquaintance here in the building that I talk to every once in awhile. I knew she was gossipy, but not in a overwhelming way like Tonya Halls, but you do have to watch what you say around her. Anyway, yesterday I stepped outside of my unit into the hall to go down and get my mail. There ~ sitting infront of Tonyas door ~ was Marion. At first i started to wave,... but the look on her face stopped me. It was GUILT. Like she had been caught. She didn't wave,... she put her head down in shame and quickly went into Tonyas apartment.

So know I know ~ SHE is my mole. I have closed down all my social media to get Tonya Halls out of my life and yet here she is, using Marion to get info on me still,.... I am so disappointed in Marion. She KNOWS everything Tonya is doing to me and yet she pretended she wasn't friends with her while i talked to her. Now I realize they ARE friends - secretly. WARNIG bells went off instantly. It was the look on her face that said "I've been caught' that told me she is a secretive little gossip. 

And this has been a lesson. Now I don't TRUST ANYONE in this building. I keep my mouth shut and myself to myself. This place is a cesspool of gossips and addicts and alcoholics and mentally ill,... it's a mishmash of people living on the fringes of society. We all have issues and problems. So to have to deal with these immature little gossips is so fucking tiring,... everyday you have to be on alert,... what you say to whom,... it's like living on a playground.

But I have learned. So now all my social media has been deleted except my game account which is ONLY used for a game,.... Tonya no longer has access to my internet life. Becasue there isnt' one anymore ~ BECAUSE of her!!!! I RESENT that I have had to deactivate my social media. i certainly didn't want to. But I felt for my own safety and privacy I had no choice. It has worked - but at what cost? 

I don't understand Tonya Halls. What is the obsession with gossiping about others and making their lives miserable??? I just don't get it!!! WHY does she need to know everything about everyone???? I get so frustrated as I am a private person and just want to be left alone.

So fuck you Marion ~ you fake fucking friend working for Tonya,.... YOU were my mole all along. SO disappointed in you,.....

I absolutely HATE living here. 

Maybe it is just time to leave,....

and we all know that that means,.....