Something has been on my mind since yesterday and it's really bothering me. I have to get it off my chest. Many, many years ago I made an email account for a game. It was hippiechick63@_____. I ONLY used it for my game which I dont' even play anymore. I had completely forgotten I even had this email. So noone knows about it as it's never given out to anyone. Strictly used for one game and that is all.
Yesterday my friend A****n came over. This already is an issue as I dont' invite him. He just follows me around and right into my apartment and not wanting to be rude, I let him in. He's an acquaintance from the smoking area. He has been acting as my 'bodyguard' against Mark and Darren when I go out to the gazebo. Theres no doubt "A" is 'different'. But so is almost everyone in this building. We all have our own issues. But "A" is definitely unique. But I like him. He has never been mean to me and has always treated me nicely even when other didn't.
Just before I moved to BC (which of course didn't work out and now I am back) I had an old PC. It worked great. But I couldn't put a personal computer in my luggage so I had to sacrifice leaving it behind. "A" asked if he could have it so I said yes. Why not? I can't take it with me so why not let someone else enjoy it. I format it (put it back to factory settings and I thought all of my entire content would be gone - but was it?) And I thought that was the end of it.
Two weeks ago "A" knocked on my door with a wagon and my PC in the wagon. He said he was giving it back to me. How nice. I thanked him and put it together only to find it has been corrupted. No matter what I tried I could not get into my computer. No password worked. I worked on this for over a day. Watching Youtube videos on how to fix this. But in the end, no matter what I tried, it just said this computer has been corrupted. (????) what does that mean???? Was he in porn sights or something and watching something he shouldn't have been? He never even told me it was broken - just gave it back. No wonder he gave it back - it's unusable! So now I am stuck with a broken computer. What do i do with this machine? I can't get to a waste dump site. So i think he just dumped this on me as he didn't know what to do with it either, and he didn't want to get 'stuck' with it so he dumped it back on me.
Anyway,.... jump to yesterday. When I started going back out to the gazebo, I asked "A" to come out with me so I wasn't alone and felt safer. He was fine with that. But unfortuanately now I cant get rid of him. He follows me around like a puppy. We go out to the gazebo but then he follows me right up to my apartment so I end up asking him in not to feel rude. I dont' want him in my apartment - but he seems a nice guy so I let him in. He takes a seat and doesnt move. Now he has started the 'grift' Can I have a cup of coffee,.... ok - seems harmless enough so I put on a pot of coffee. Coffee is very expensive so I only make one pot a day in the morning. When I buy my groceries for the month - that is all the groceries I have until next pay. I am brilliant at budgeting and can always stretch my supply to get to the end of the month. But each item is spoken for. I dont buy extra. I have just enough to get me through the month. So grifting pisses me off. The people in this building spen
d all their money on fast food the first week and then they are broke for the rest of the month. The grifting starts,... can I have this? Can I have that? It annoys me that we all make $1408 a month. Some of us make more (not me) so if I can budget - so can they.
Yesterday, "A" walked out of here with coffee, a quarter bag of weed, and a roll of toilet paper,... and he was only here for an hour. I didn't even notice what he had done until he left and realized "wait a minute,..." why did I give him that?????
I am too fucking nice. People ask? I give,.... why???? It only ends up in disaster.
But here is the creepy part,.... yesterday "A" asked for an edible of mine (I would never have the nerve to just ask for someone elses edibes - they are very, very expensive) and I guess it made him loosen up. And in a sing-song voice he started saying "Hippiechick 63" and my blood ran cold.
NOONE knows about that email so how does he? He was inebriated so he didn't realize what he said. but he said it over and over again,... Jacquie is a little hippiechick63,.... and laughed,.... while I froze.
HOW does he know about that email? I had forgotten about it years ago so how did he know about it???? Him getting high yesterday and losing his control showed me he is creepy. I got a huge 'creep' vibe. I made an excuse for him to leave and now I don'tknow what to think.
NOONE knows that email - so how does he?????
I think it's time to blow this guy off and stop being nice to him. He has turned out to be nothing but a grifter asking for stuff every time he visits (uninvited). Every time I give something away, I now dont' have that for next month for myself and have to go without. Everything I buy is budgeted and accounted for and if it goes missing - I have to go without. So people asking me for stuff really pisses me off.
If I have learned to live on a budget of $1408 a month - then so can the rest of the losers in this building. They just blow there pay on fast food and then expect us to feed them the rest of the month.
I am not a store!!!! Stop coming to me for your toilet paper and weed and all the other stuff you need. I am not a store! And in the end - I dont get payment from anyone so it's not even a store. They just take!!!!! for free!!!!!
And then theres internet. He has no internet (he says he can't afford it yet I can) and yesterday he sat in here so he could watc h my tv. I didn't want him coming here everyday just ao he could have something to do. Why don't these people buy their OWN internet????? And watch their own tv,....
Maybe I should start walking around asking people for everything. Can I have a dollar??? Can I have some weed? Can I have an edible? Can i have a coke? Can I have a roll of toilet paper?? The nerve of people galls me.
THIS is why I am so unhappy here. I am not a person,... noone sees me for me. I am a source of stuff for the grifters that know I won't say no if they need it. But now I will. From today on,... I give nothing to anybody,.... I am done being used for my stuff.
NOONE sees me for who i am
I am worthless to the rest of the world and a source of grifting here in this building.
I HAVE NO WORTH to this world
And that has left me devastated.
All I'm good for is grifting from,.....
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