I don't know what to do about this smoking in the gazebo situation. It's just not working out. In the end, I don't want to sit out there with those people. (Mark and Darren). But housing forces us to.
I feel so trapped. I can't stay in this building anymore. I don't feel safe. I am suppose to go out to the gazebo to smoke but I am not welcome there and they let me know!!! Noone wants to have to be couped up inside a tiny gazebo with people giving you the death glare.
I will be using the gazebo very rarely. I don't feel safe out there at all.
But housing can't help,... they refuse to give us a second place to smoke. We have two buildings full of people and we all have to share ONE smoking area.
IT IS NOT WORKING
Very few women go out there. The gazebo itself is disgustingly dirty. People spitting ont he ground after they smoke - so disgusting! It needs to be power-washed before any woman would feel comfortable in there. So in the end only myself and maybe one or two other woman use the gazebo. The rest of the women smoke in their units as they don't feel safe either. But I did the right thing and did not smoke in my unit and went out. All I got was abuse,... I dont feel safe,....
I don't feel safe!!!
Darren has decided he is too good for losing the smoking in his unit priviledge. Every single time I walk by his apartment he is smoking. When I was talking with housing about this whole situation I let them know that Darren has no intention of following rules and will continue to smoke in his unit and get away with it. So housing told me to write down every time he smokes. Um,... no thank you. This is a man who has proved he will retaliate over any little thing. You want ME to be the spy that gets him evicted???
Do your own fucking work housing ~ I am not a rat or a mole. I dont' work for Ontario Housing so why should I put my life in danger doing THEIR spying??? No way! If you want to catch Darren Green - YOU can do the tattling. I am staying well clear of that man.
The only way to resolve this issue is one of us has to leave this building. And in the end WHY should it be me? This is a perfect opportunity for me to 'tattle' every time he smokes and he will eventually get evicted. But will i do that? Absolutely not. First of all,... I have been homeless myself - twice - and I don't wish that upon anyone. Even Darren Green. it's INHUMANE. I do not want to be the reason a person loses their housing. I want Darren Green gone,... he has ruined my living here,... but I stop at making someone homeless.
So housing this is your problem. you dont' want smoking in your building? Yet you want us tenants to do all the dirty work catching them. WE DONT WORK FOR YOU - It's not our job to tattle. Do it yourself.
And I can't help thinking if it's that immpossible to catch someone - then maybe I should just smoke inside too,.... Housing has said it's near immpossible to evict someone without 'written' complaints to document. Like Tonya did to me for years (and I had to fight to stay here). If they threaten to evict me,... at least I have a case behind me I can fight it. I told them multiple times I dont feel safe,... yet nothing was done to ensure my safety. So I choose to protect myself and stay inside. But will i do this? No,... becasue I live here too. Why should I be trapped inside all my life due two men who are bullies????????
Life is not fair. And I have had enough. I can't do this anymore. My body is in so much pain now I can't function and look after myself anymore.
BUT NOONE CARES I can't find a doctor,... and noone cares,....
So I think it really is time to just disappear
No more pain,... no more poverty,... no more bullies,...no more feeling like your the biggest piece of worthless shit around,....
It is time to plan,....
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