Kelly your a cunt

 This is just another rant. I live alone,... i have noone to talk with so sometimes when i get upset i feel like I want to explode. but insteaad I open my laptop and blog. 

I knew this new Kelly girl was going to be trouble. I think I have talked about how I just get up and walk away when she comes into the gazebo. But tonight she made a scene. As she came in I politely said I have a game on and got up and left. isn't that what we are suppose to do - ignore stay silent and leave???? Well this woman doens't let you. Tonight she waited until she had an all male audience and then when I left she started,.... I can't remember the exact words but she wanted a fight. I kept walking,... she kept mouthing off,.... she asked why i leave i said i dont like the company you keep and she let me have it,... so i kept on walking. But after she said Im leaving becasue i'm scared i turned round and said no its becasue of you - i dont like you so im leaving your a drama queen. I was sititng here peacefully until you came out. This is what I mean kelly your a drama queen when she started mouthing off again i said fuck you kelly and walked away.

i did the right thing yet they follow you!!!!!

I came upstairs so upset i took my blood pressure and it was sky high. Even after an hour it was still high.

I have told housing,... i have told Traverse who kelly is with,...

but noone gives one shit about what happens to us here. Just deal with it yourself,....

well I can't do what I want to do and thats avoid her altogether so I have no choice but to deal.

3 more days tomorrow until I go to BC

I can't wait to get the fuck out of this building

4 days to go

 four more days until I board that plane to BC. I am starting to get excited now. I know this home is not a done deal. And I know that many times in my life things don't work out leaving me disappointed. But I refuse to believe I wont get this property. I HAVE to believe it will all work out in the end.

It has too

I just can't stay in this building anymore. I just can't believe how nosy everyone is. Noone ever talks to me here. The gossips all hate me. Yet suddenly they are acting all nice as pie and asking questions. They don't want to know because they are happy for me. They are just nosy and NEED to know my business. I have just told Adrian (who isn't a gossip)  but the others all know something is up. And they just can't help themselves. Yesterday they hated me - today they are sucking up looking for info. WHY? I have never understood why i am so interesting to these lowlifes. 

I am saying nothing. They all know I am going on vacation for a week and they know I am looking to move out. Thats all. Ann cornered me yesterday and asked me dozens of questions which I tried to be general and non-specific. 

When I move from here I want NOONE from this building to evn know what province I moved to. They have all been that intrusive. These people live for gossip. And I'm not giving them any. I can see it's driving them crazy. My friend came to me and told me everyone is asking what I am doing. SO NOSY! They dont even talk to me yet need to know,...

And again Adrian asked me what I'm doing with all my stuff. Grifters, grifters, grifters,.... I told him I am taking it all with me. Right down to the last grain of rice. Hopefully that will shut eveyone up and stop them asking me if they can have,.... these folks are not shy. They will out and out ask you "can I have that?" entitled, annoying grifters,... they are not getting one thing from me this time. I will throw it all in the dumpster before giving anyone a thing. I have given Adrian a computer, a microwave, not just small stuff. They never offer a dime,... its always take take take,....

this time they get nothing - just on principal alone. 

I have never asked for one thing from one person in this building yet they are always asking me for money,... food,.... weed,.... anythign they don't want to pay for they ask others.

So sick of the damn grifting

But,... in 5 days i will be in BC. And all of this will be behind me. And if I do buy this home ~ all my problems will be over.

Cross your fingers,... say a prayer,.... I NEED to get this home.

I need to get this home

 I did a detailed budget to see if I can REALLY afford this home. And at the end I found out I probobly can. As long as I can get it for a certain price, then I CAN do this. But I have to get it for this lower price. I am losing my ODSP and therfore I have to hold money back from settlement to compensate for that. I budgeted so I have the exact same money I have right now. $1580.00 I have lived on this for years and comfortable with it.

I also used Google AI and asked it loads of questions. how much i will receive in benefits after 65 (probobly double!) so I knew I only had to worry about the first 2 years being thread bare. The second year I may be on the BC disability which adds on even more. The way i see it, I almost doing better as I now don't have the strict ODSP rules of no roommates or working or breathing,.... or they take it away or lessen it. Without this benefit I am open to getting a room mate if things get tough and I wont get penalised. I asked AI if I am on BC Disability can i still clean houses if I only make $100 a week and the answer was yes. If I claim it it is legal to do and I wont lose any benefits.

Health care is better too. If I cant find a family doctor they offer NP's who can prescribe medication at all health centres and walk ins. And having fibromyalgia AI said I will almost certainly receive the BC Disability if I pass on my old records to prove it.

So everything is looking awesome and like it's all falling into place. I even asked AI what to say or not say to park owners to be more accepted into the park,... I looked into everything I could think of and more that AI suggested.

All I need to do now is view this home and buy it!!!! It will all depend on if I can get if for my price I need to carry it and being accepted into the park. I will be so anxious and overwhelmed until I know one way or the other. But I have to say, after doing all of this work and research ~ If i dont get it I know I will be devastated.

But I am going to think positively and just be confident.

I will get this home,...

I will get this home,...

I will get this home,...

I really do need this break so please God,....

let me get this home!

One step closer

Today I walked downtown to my bank. I had an appointment to break my GIC. My money is now all free and accessable. So if I do like this home in BC everything is ready at my bank to go ahead with the purchase.

I am trying very hard not to get excited. I have been here before and had a wall thrown at me the last minute ~ infact I have had that happen several times. And each time you get your hopes up only to have them dashed it takes a little more out of you. I just don't think I could take another no,...

So, I am going to be optomistic! Positive! I am going to get this home!!

But, even looking on the bright side theres a little bit of me that is still worried it won't work out 

I need to get the fuck out of this building and 'the system'

I cannot get out of this building and 'the system' fast enough. I told housing about the 'Phyllis' incident but not even that has made them give me a transfer. They just won't budge,... rules are rules are rules,...

So I called HER (at Ontario Housing ~ I dislike her so much I can't even say her name) and told her I may not be returning from BC and what do I do to clear up my living here? Now remember that anyone living in Ontario Housing is not here because they want to be ~ no,... we are here because we are POOR and there was literally nowhere else to go. We are the bottom of the ladder. We don't have an extra PENNY to spend in our budget and infact don't have enough to get by each month.

YET,....

Housing is expecting me to pay my rent here for 2 more months even though I won't be living here. I said to her,... "even after all the abuse and harrassemnt and threats I've endured you won't just let me leave?"

NOPE

If I move out of here leaving this place vacant for August 1st,.... she is telling me I still have to pay rent for September and October. THOSE ARE THE RULES. So us poor people - the poorest of the poor - are being made to pay our rent twice for two months. Once at the new place and still at Housing????? Noone on ODSP could ever afford to pay a rent twice in one month. we just dont' have it. We get $1480 a  month!!!!! And she is telling me rules are rules - you MUST pay the 2 months even though you dont live here.

THAT is out and out gouging of the poor.

I will pretend I am following their rules, but they day I move out is the day I walk down to my bank and stop all auto withdrawals from Ontario Housing. This is just them being power hungry. You dont' gouge the poor!!! they are suppose to be an organization to help the needy. But instead they have done nothing but harrass and not allow one thing I have ever asked for,...... I wish for one month that this woman - S**** - that I dispise so much - to walk a mile in my shoes. THEN maybe she would see that housing is nothing but a pain in our ass with their rules and regulations and most frustrating ~ their constant threat of eviction. You never feel safe here as you always feel like they are threatening you with evicition. It's not a nice way to live. 

And for them to say I still have to pay more???? Power hungry government emplyees literally gouging the poor,....

And this is why I need to get the hell out of here as soon as I can. They dont' like me here and there non-help has proved that. I have hit NO's and walls every time I have asked for help. Just out and out NO. They are refusing to lift a finger to help me with either the threats I've received or the bullying. They dont want to get involved.But instead of being happy for me that I may be able to get out and work with me,... they are working against me and even trying to steal $1800 off of me in rent. WHY? Because they can,.....

This is a system that once you are in it - you become an invisable piece of shit they want to CONTROL. And they have you. There is nothing you can do it about except take it - or they threaten you with eviction. Their very favourite thing to do,.... (You have to keep us zoo animals in line you know,...)

So when I leave I will just block them from my bank. HOW DARE they try and do this from a person just trying to better themselves and get out of the system. It's like they are mad I got out and they wont lift a finger to make it easier,... 

I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR TALKING BACK. THAT REALLY BOTHERS THEM.  How dare I be mad at having to pay rent for 2 months I am not even living here,.... they just dont get we CAN'T. We just don't have that money!!!! 

Oh I had to get that off of my chest,.... feels good.

The other thing that bothered me was the people I have to sit with in the gazebo when I smoke. I told Adrian yesterday I will probobly be moving to BC. He didnt say that was good,.... he didn't ask where,... or when -  he didn't ask anything. EXCEPT "what are you doing with your stuff?" and that folks sums up these people. He wasn't happy for me,... he didn't care I was leaving,... he just wanted to know who will get my stuff,.... fuck off Adrian,...grifters ~ all of them fucking grifters,...

No, I will be SELLING every damn thing in here. NO freebies to anyone in this building. Last time I moved to BC I gave away so much to folk in this building for FREE. And those people are the ones that dis me now when I say hello - they hate me and talk about me all the time. Not this time,... I have learned my lesson. You want my stuff??? Then you pay for it. NO more grifting,....I have no idea if I am even moving ~ yet the people have already got their eye on my stuff,.... no friends,... just out and out grifters. Haven't spoken to me in a year - but suddenly wants my stuff,....

I ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT STAND THIS PLACE AND I WILL GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ANY WAY I CAN,...

Even if it means dying,... 

and now i wait,....

 The ups and downs in my life are just crazy. The highest of highs and then plunged down to the lowest of lows. Sometimes in minutes. And this past week has been nothing but a roller coaster ride,...

But as of today,... I think I may have found a property out in Duncan BC. It is under my budget and if i can get accepted then I will have a ZERO monthly mortgage. I would have to pay a trailer park fee of $650 a month but that is close to what I pay right now for rent. So in that aspect barely anything would change.

However, the big problem is I lose my ODSP so my monthly budget will drop drastically to $1100 a month. With the park fee taken out that is only $450 to live on a month. But I have considered this. It is a two bedroom. If i do find things just that much too tight to manage then I can always look for a roommate. Or I could clean homes,... I dont know exactly right now but I do know that if I dont' try ~ i will end up lingering in this compound for years to come - miserable. This is my chance to get out.

I have contacted 3 of my cousins. John here in Ontario and Sheila and Brian in BC. Brian actually lives in Duncan so I feel confident in knowing that with the 3 of them looking out for me I should be ok.

It's a bit terrifying though. I have already done this once and it didn't work out. I am just taking my mistakes and trying not to make those again this time. 

I wish my children were involved and happy for me but they are not. And if I do get this place (and right now that is still a very big if,...) I will never see my girls again. We will be 4000 km apart. But I waited. I waited and waited and waited,.... but they just weren't interested. They already have another mom - their step mom. So they dont' even need me anymore. And I have pinned long enough. If I am to survive mentally, I have to make this decision to move on. Start life fresh. I'm tired of being hated.

So now my life is in the air once again. I now have to wait to fly to BC and then wait to view the property on July 1st. And then and only then will I have an idea if this is even feasable or not. But al least this time, I have 3 people behind me giving me advice I trust. 

So now I just wait,.....

 I am so depressed and despondent today. 

I just want to move out of here,...

but its never going to happen

Missing my daughters but letting them go,...

My daughters,...

I still count the years in the quiet spaces of my mind,
Tracing the paths where our steps unraveled,
leaving a silence too heavy to carry,
yet too familiar to put down.
And now, a new blossom grows on a branch I cannot touch.
A grandchild whose laughter I must imagine,
whose small hands I will never hold to keep safe,
Whose eyes might carry the shape of my own,
a beautiful secret kept from me for years,
My grief was a wild, roaring thing,
Demanding reasons, begging for a bridge across the chasm
Refusing to believe that love could be a locked door.
But the storm has emptied itself.
Today, I am learning the quiet art of letting go.
Acceptance is not forgetting;
it is loving you enough to let the silence stand,
and loving myself enough to survive it.
I release my grip on the life we did not get to live.
I fold my blessings into the wind,
hoping they find their way to your door,
and to the little one sleeping beneath your roof.
You are loved, from across the quiet divide.
I am finally at peace with the shore I am on.

Fuck you Canada for not even being able to give me basic needs ~ Housing!!!!!! I prefer to ide than be homeless

 In what kind of world do we live where I have to end my life to find peace because there is no affordable housing in all of Canada?

What kind of fucking world is this where I have to die to find peace?

I don't think I'm asking for anything luxurious ~ I am literally asking for a basic need! Housing!

Why is there no housing in all of fucking Canada?

And why do I have to fucking die to escape living in absolute misery?

Canada has declined so badly they have priced me right out of living and I have no basic needs even with over $***** in the bank I still can't find housing! There is something seriously wrong with that!!!!!

What the fuck is wrong with this country that I have to fucking DIE to find peace because there is no fucking housing. I am 63 ~ disabled ~ and I refuse to live under a fucking Bridge.

FUCK you Canada

Fuck you ~ I hope I die today,........

FUCK YOU CANADA!

Let's hope today is the day I find peace

I woke up sad. I can't believe that in all of Canada I cannot find ONE affordable place to live. 

I have been priced right out of living

I have made some radical decisions because of it. I do not want to live anymore.

I woke up to a blood pressure that was severely high again. I looked it up on google and was told to get myself to an emergency room immediately. Will I? No,... infact I am so miserable living her I would rather die. And with a blood pressure of 189/120 I will probobly not even make it through the day. 

Let's hope today is the day I finally escape my miserable existence and DIE

 I am no longer dealing with 'the system'

They have let me down. Now I protest.

This is the note I leave in my mailbox outside my door if the cops show up:

***********************

no transfer - I end my life

 All I wanted was a fucking transfer out of this building ~ but no one would give me one, because to Ontario Housing ~ we are all the same.  Fucking useless worthless pieces of shit Karens

Well you treated me like shit ~ now I act like shit and fucking end my life. And I hope Ontario housing can sleep at night knowing all they had to do was give me a fucking transfer. But they said no because the people underneath them ~ and yes I use the word underneath because that's very significant. They think of us as poor worthless pieces of shit they have to CONTROL and KEEP IN LINE. While they are Elite - so m uch better than us. And it shows,..... well I hope they can sleep at night because all they had to do was give me a transfer.

But I wasn't worth the bother,....

 and they refused.

 And now I'm going to be dead.

All I wanted was a fucking transfer

Fuck Canada - I'm fucking done and ending it all

 I had my heart specialist appointment yesterday,.... I did not go.

I called them to cancel over 50 times but they dont answer their phone so I have no way of contacting this doctors office. WTF? Since when do offices never answer their phone? I have tried calling all yesterday all the day before and even this morning but this office NEVER answers their phone. So fuck em,... they can just know I didnt' show up.

I am so upset about my housing that I have decided I just want to hurry up and die. I AM NEVER GETTING OUT OF ONTARIO HOUSING  and I am not ok with that. I would rather die than live in this building.

So no heart specialists,....

no doctors at all,...

no more medication to keep my blood pressure lower,...

I want it high!!! I WANT to die of a heart attack and I hope it's today.

This fucking country has let me down and I am not going to suffer becasue of their mistakes,...

fuck Canada - I'm fucking done

actively wanting to die now

 

Refusing all medical intervention

Not taking my medication

Doing absolutely everything I can to die

to finally escape this fucking poverty

I would rather be dead than live this fucking poverty and pain

 This is my blood pressure today

 I am so angry 

And this is me on blood pressure medication

 I hope I fucking die today!!

My country and my province have let me down and I am not going to suffer because they fucked up!!!!!!

I would rather be DEAD!

even our MP doesn't care

The letter I sent to our local MP this morning:



I sent you a letter on June 1st but I got no reply.

I have heart disease and I am dying of it.

But since I am trapped in this building I can't live in,.... and there is NO AFFORDABLE housing anywhere in Canada,.... I have had t make a very radical decision.

What is the point of heart surgery to get better if there is no place to live?

So as of today,....

I am refusing all medical treatment.

I am absolutely miserable living here being harassed and bullied and threatened but because I have looked for two years for affordable housing I am confident in saying CANADA does not have nay affordable housing.

So I am choosing DEATH.

I would rather die of a heart attack than be homeless.

But even after writing you,... just like the rest of the world, you didn't even bother to answer. I was just another annoying KAREN to you. You didn't even think I was important enough to even answer,.... and your just like the rest of them. If you can't help then you just ignore and let suffer.

I don't need your help anymore
I am choosing to die.

I don't know what one has to do to be seen and helped in this community

So I choose to leave it

And my heart is broken that I have been so INVISABLE and WORTHLESS I don't even get answers from people = just ignored.


Jacquie Holyoak

I am choosing to die

I have decided

to refuse all

medical treatment

until someone finds me

affordable housing

I refuse to live here 

but there is

NO

affordable housing

in all of 

Canada 

for me

SO I AM CHOOSING TO DIE

I am choosing to stop all medical treatment and let myself die

I woke up to bad news. It seems every morrning I wake up to bad news. Anything I had ben working on the day before usually gets shown to be a NO the next morning. And that happened again. I found lots of mobile homes I can afford in Gravenhurst. I reached out to the agent who emailed me back. That is the bad news I got. They are all way too rural. He said there is no taxi ride nto town and I woulddn't be able to get groceries and supplies.

No car - no mobile home

I have been looking for over 2 years now.

I have decided that there IS NO AFFORDABLE HOUSING IN ALL OF CANADA for me.

So now everything changes again.

I had an appointment with the heart specialist for testing TODAY.  But now,.... I am not going. I am refusing all medical treatment until I die now. What is the point of getting better if I can't afford to live anywhere,....

So fuck you Canada

I choose DEATH

Did I find the place to buy a new home??? Fingers crossed

Today has been a good day. I can't say that very often lately. It started off with my cousin Sheila texting me to say she is planning a dinner for me while I am in BC. We chatted for a bit. I leave in less than 2 weeks. I'm getting excited now.

England played today in FIFA and won and got 3 points so that was awesome.

And in doing my daily search for a new home I found a pocket of affordable mobile homes. In Gravenhurst Ontario. It's quite far up north but I knew I was going to have to relocate qutie far to find something I can afford. I see five homes all under $******. So I emailed a local agent in that area and asked if he could contact me.

Now I wait,...

Things here are miserable. I have been avoiding Kelly like the plague. I just give an excuse and leave when she comes in. She knows she is being dissed but doens't know why. I just can't deal with the drama. Whenever she is around - drama is too,...

I just want a quiet peaceful life 

So I am crossing my fingers that Gravenhurst can give me that life.

897 views in 2 hours,... what????

Because of all the nosy people in my building who do nothing but troll me on the internet, I keep my blogs set to private now. Ever since TONYA HALLS got me evicted by printing out my blog and then using exerpts of MY OWN WRITING to get me evicted. She literally printed out my whole blog and then went through it and sent Ontario housing exerpts to get me evicted. I had adimited that while the paramedics were here - I smoked in my unit to get my blood pressure to go down quickly (and it worked as it always does) but Tonya Halls in her nosy, nasty, vindictive, manipulative instigator ways thought it would be 'fun' to do this. CUNT

I was evicted and that is why I went to BC.

So imagine my anger when I opened my blog this afternoon to find nearly 900 views in under 2 hours. Noone can read that much in that time so they have printed it out. 

Someone has printed out this whole blog! Why?

If it is you - contact me and let me know why! My life is none of your business. I left this blog on public by mistake for one afternoon and someone printed the whole damn thing out.

WHO?

WHY?

I am so sick of the nasty toxic people in this building whos goal in life is to hurt other people,.... WHY?

This is the last straw

I am NOT coming back from BC. Ontairo is nasty and toxic and I hate living here

i would rather be dead in BC than alive in Ontario being used and abused and threatened buy the people in this building. 

FUCK ONTARIO

FUCK THIS BUILDING

FUCK LIVING HERE

I am going to BC and I am NOT coming back 

I will be ending my life on the downtown eastside 

For 10 fucking years the people in this building have not left me alone. I feel like my whole existence is avoiding people in this building. It's exhausting!

WHY?

I have had enought and now it's time to fucking DIE!

When you have nothing but nasty in your life it's time to fucking DIE!

There is not ounce of JOY in my life - just misery!

This building is a toxic cesspool of anstyness and I refuse to live here one more fucking month

Time to fucking DIE!

  

 I just checked my stats and someone has printed out this blog this blog is now permanently closed

Until someone gets me out of this building and into affordable housing ~ I am Refusing medical care

I don't know what to do. I feel 'off'. Not sick - just 'off'. I have been taking my new medication for my blood pressure and my BP went down just as it was suppose to. But this morning I woke up and it has spiked quite high. I googled my situation and it is saying to go directly to emergency services,.... 

But I don't want to. Maybe this is my chance to die.

Maybe if i just leave it I will have a fatal heat attack and die.

Finally finding peace,.....

Yeah,.... I think I choose death over homelessness and hunger and the general 'your not worth anything' attitude of being poor.

So today I wait to die

***************************

This is the Canadian law around denying health care:

 I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECLINE

Until someone gets me out of this building and into affordable housing ~ I am Refusing medical care

https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/96h02(the website to the law)

I will do whatever it takes to get the hell out of here

I have been trying to avoid the drama at all cost. I go out to the gazebo - chit chat about small stuff - keep things chill - and then go back inside. But the people in this building make that hard to do. I have purposely been avoiding kelly. I don't like her,... I dont' want to talk to her,... I don't even want to see her. So twice now she has come out while I was out there and both times I just said I had a game about to start and left. I don't want drama!!! She is the kind who is going to notice i am avoiding her and will probobly try to confront me about it. But I have no interest in that. I just leave. The minute she confronts me - she will expect a fight. But she won't get one from me. Ever. I have had enough of this childish - thugish - behaviour.

 If you like him then I hate you,... blah, blah, blah,... it's bloody exhausting. So I plan on avoiding her at all cost. WHY invite drama by being sucked into her world. If she wants to be Darren and Marks bitch then thats her perogative but I will not give her what she wants. DRAMA. 

So even though it's gorgeous outside right now and that is exaactly what I want to do - go utside for a smoke - I won't. I just can't deal with the children that want tnothing more than to instigate drama.

Kelly ~ You have only been here 5 minutes and you have instigated yourself in a situation you dont' belong,....

I hate this place.

I have an appointment with that finacial planner tomorrow. If I have to wait one more year to roll that money so I can leave this damn place? Then I will. 

I have one goal in life right now and that is to escape this fucking horrible drug-riddled place where grown ass adults act like complete children,.... bored, nasty mean girls with nothing to do but cause drama,....

No more,... I'm done,.... what ever it takes,.... and i mean WHATEVER it takes to get out of here.

Blood pressure has finally dropped to a safe zone

My blood pressure is finally under control. He gave me the strong medication as he wanted it to come down quickly. And it has. I have been feeling a bit lethargic and have a headache which may be symptoms of my pressure dropping so fast. I will probobly start to feel better in a few days.

I have just been spending my days watching FIFA games. Canada tied 1-1 so we get a world cup point! England doesn't play until Wednesday so I'll be looking forward to that.

I have been trying to stay inside as much as I can. The gazebo has become a minefield of personalities and drugs. Not a very happy enviroment. I go out and smoke and come right back in. With so many soccer games to watch I barely notice I'm hardly going out.

I have been looking for a mobile home again. This time I think I will look furthur north. Muskoka/Gravenhurst/Bracebridge seems like a nice area. I do realize northern Canada is a bitch in the winter. I am prepared for that. But I can get more home for my money if I go furthur north. But in order to do it right, I think I will plan a trip up there. Get a motel for a few days, hire an agent and just spend the whole time looking for a home. I'm going to go to BC first and enjoy my vacation but when I get back I am going to do some very serious looking for a new home. 

I ran into my friend upstairs and she is planning on moving too. She, too, is fed up with the nonsense going on here. Presently she has Mark (yes, that Mark that - the one who accousted me and threatened me out of the gazebo) lives under her apartment and HE has been writing her up for smoking on her balcony. She is on oxygen and can't smoke right now. So he is wrong but writing her up anyway. Nonsense from bored school children on a playground. So Mark isn't just annoying me then,... he is a Karen to her as well. LOL  He's a 50'ish year old man with noone in his life but a tiny dog. So bored he has to write people up. What is wrong with these people?????

Hopefully I will get out of here by next year. It may take longer if I have to look up north now, but I have all the time I need. No deadline means I can be choosier and get what I want. If I take my matured GIC money and roll that for a few more months I can accumulate even more of a downpayment while I wait. 

Is there hope? I don't want to get too excited as things always seem to crumble at the last minute for me,... but I will be optomistic. Seeing that meth head out of his mind infront of our building yet again yesterday was the last straw.

I refuse to live here anymore. I just don't feel safe.

My dream,... can I make it happen?

I am so disheartened,...

It is not even 10:30 in the morning and I have already had to perform gorilla warfare tactics to avoid Jen during my laps (she is wandering the building asking for stuff - again!) I have been ducking into stairwells,... deeking into alcoves,.... she just seemed to be everywhere. So I went outside to chill in the gazebo. But when I came back in I had to see the 'meth-head' in a wheelchair higher than a kite rambling to noone incoherently sitting by the front door. I had to take a detour to get by him. There were 4 seniors sitting outside 20 feet away just trying to enjoy this glorious weather we are having but instead they have to watch this strung out meth head.

I am so disheartened with living here.

I need to get out!

Can't escape

I hate it here. Yesterday I ran into Aidrian at the walkin clinic and told him I would tell him what I find out when I got back, but the appointment was for my high blood pressure. When I walked back I saw Aidrian in the gazebo with Jen, Mark and Darren. I started to walk over and Darren and Mark got up to leave as they always do when I come in (which I secretly love as I get a chair now,... and I don't have to deal with them,...lol). But Jen was also in there. I do not like this woman as she does nothing but grift off of everyone, and is always high or drunk and talks nothing but nonsense we don't even understand half the time. 

By the time I get into the gazebo it is just the 3 of us. Adrian asks how it went. I start to tell him,... I tell him it's bad news and explain I have a serious heart condition. He behaves appropriately with "wow, thats not good,.." or something along those lines. But Jen? Who by the way isn't even in this conversation, interrupts with the old "Thats nothing, I,..." and proceeded to tell us her whole life problems. Every time we see this woman she tells us her problems. I got fed up and told her a game was about to start and I just got up and left. I didn't even get to talk to Aidrian about my news as she just wouldn't let me talk. She talked about how she had a dream that her daughter was dead.  I mean I didn't want to hear any of this. But she just took over as she always does. I've never met such an entitled - clueless to everyone around her - woman. She only sees herself. 

I am so fed up of the addicts and alcoholics I am forced to sit with in that gazebo. All they do is ask for money or whine about their problems. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS. But the old-timers I hang out with we just keep them to ourselves. But not Jen,... no she wants the whole world to think she is so hard done by yet she won't lift a finger to help herself. She has been in rehab twice this year alone and keeps leaving. NO SYMPATHY as we have all tried to help her but we end up getting used. We have all given up trying to help her and now just try and avoid her. But she won't leave us alone.

I am so frustrated living here I just want out!!!!!!!

How did I end up here in this degenerate hell hole???? HOW????

If I can't escape this place, I think it's better I just die of a heart attack anyway. Life is not enjoyable anymore and I'd rather just be gone,....

**********************************************

P.S. I found my keys! I guess I dropped them outside somewhere and someone picked them up and left them in the common room. The fob has been deactivated but atleast I still have my Manchester United lanyard. 

Not the best of news

*** sigh *** 

Everything has changed ~ again ~ and not for the better this time.

The home is gone. The park it was in is switching over to seasonal and not doing 12 month occupancy so that deal is gone,.... gone,.... gone,...

But that isn't even the reason I won't be moving soon. During the FIFA game this afternoon, I started getting palpatations in my chest. I took my blood pressure and it was very high. So I called the walk-in and got an appointment. It was still high when I got there. He prescribed me medication and then made an appointment with a heart specialist. I have to get bloodwork done as well. I asked him if I was ok to fly, as I am off to BC in 2 weeks. He re-listened to my heart and said yeah. Just make sure I get myself to that heart specialist.

My grandfather died of a heart attack at a very young age. 50. He left my grandma pregnant with 7 kids. My cousin John is still alive but he had a heart attack in his 50's (I'll be 63 in September) He had 95% blockage and 3 stents put in. 

So, I have been told not to over exert.

So my BC trip might look a bit different. No surfing or ocean swimming. Maybe more sight-seeing and enjoying cafe's and restaurants this time. 

And,... I have to put looking for a new place on the back burner. Not wise to cause myself more stress. So once again - my plans have changed. Now nothing gets done until I see this heart specialist.

So now I just go and enjoy BC and then deal with my heart when I get back. Whatever that ends up looking like. Once my health is under control I will resume looking for a home.

So now I sit here with my apartment packed. I have just the day-to-day stuff left out but everything else is already packed up in boxes. I thought I would have been moved by now.

And i didn't have to get Molly and Murphy re-homed so quickly either. I still struggle with missing them. But it was better to rehome them as kittens rather than when they were older and I love the family they went to so I know they are well loved and looked after. But boy do I ever miss them. The apartment seems so quiet and still now.

I got a ride to Georgina

I got a ride to Georgina!!!! June 17th!

This is awesome news!!! The mobile home I want is still for sale and I finally got a ride to go and view it.

It's dropped in price so much if I like it I can buy it cash and have NO MORTGAGE!

Can't write right now as the Canada game is on but I was so excieted about getting a ride that I had to post

Can someone drive me to Georgina??

It's here! FIFA 2026 is here. I have waited four years for this and I intend to watch as many games as I can. Today Canada plays at 3. It feels nice to have something to look forward to. 

Yesterday I was doing what I do every morning, scrolling through the internet looking for a place to live, when I came across one of the first mobile homes I reviewed months ago and liked. Only now the price has dropped 3 times bringing it down nearly $80.000!! It is also priced at under $100,000 which means I could buy it outright without a mortgage or loan. PERFECT!

But I need to get there. HOW? No transportation,.... so I made a post on facebook asking for help but got nothing. I also looked up bus and train routes and it can actually be done but I would have to take about 5 modes of transprotation and it would take me all day just to get there. But it can be done,....

After the bullshit this past week here in my building I have decided NOT to wait and to get the hell out of here now. So I did something I probobly shouldn't have done but I am desperate enough that I felt I had to.

I called my cousin Sandy who lives in Toronto and is a real estate agent. We aren't talking presently. We just dwindled apart. (I always felt like she just didn't like me so I avoid her) So right now I am waiting to hear from her to see if she will help me. If not,... I do the bus/train/taxi thing and get there on my own. But either way,.... I am going to get there. I can't stand where I am living and need desperately to get out. I think at this point I would hitch-hike to Georgina if I had to ~ I am that desperate and miserable living here.

I am DESPERATE

If you are reading this and can drive me from Fergus to Georgina please message me!!!! I am DESPERATE

I am not above apologizing

 I have always said that I am not above apologizing if I am wrong. And today I am having to do just that. I just got a call from Housing and they DID actually check the cctv footage and Darren green did NOT take my keys.

So, even though I hate this kid with a passion,... I have to report that I was wrong and Darren Green did not take my keys. I apologize to Darren (even if it kills me to do so). But if he didn't take them he doesn't deserve to be blamed. 

I apologize!!!!!

But,... where did my keys go? The cctv footage shows me with the keys going into the laundry room. But I don't remember where they went after that. I remember putting the laundry in and then going to my unit to get my walker to go out to the gazebo for a quick smoke before coming back in. I never lock my door (I have a doorbell camera) so I didn't need my keys. They just disappeared,.... I have ripped this whole apartment apart 3 times. I am confident they are not here. They have either been lost off of my walker as i was going outside and they are outside and someone picked them up????? Or did I 'lose' them in the gazebo somehow. It is a complete mystery. Housing asked could someone have lifted them out of my cup holder on my walker while I was in the gazebo? Yes,... possible but not probable. At this point I guess I'll never know.

But if I lost them somewhere outside - who picked them up and KNEW they were mine with my manchester United Lanyard that everyone knows I wear nothing but Manchester United,... Noone would have to ask whos keys they were. Most would know they were  mine. And if they didn't,... why not leave them in the common room where I keep looking,....???

I guess I'll never know.

No respect for animal abusers and those who stick by them

I tested her and she lost ~ miserably. The new girl I dislike came to me in the gazebo looking for info and then blabbed it to Mark and Darren. I knew she was just informatin hunting. But I wanted her to hear what an animal abuser Darren really is. But even after hearing me say he scruffs his cat and puts his head under the running water screaming "I'll show you who's boss"  OR putting his cats head in a hurrican lamp glass and forcing it to get high by blowing smoke into the glass,... thats' ok? Apparently it didn't bother Kelly. I told her about his rages - to be careful around him - and how he rages every single day at his poor cat. We hear him all the time - screaming,.... that poor little cat. But that didn't bother Kelly.

Darren Green used to be like a son to me. But the second I heard him abuse that cat of his ~ it was all over. And I just don't understand how others can candon it. Kelly barely even knows Darren yet she still choose HIM over me telling her the TRUTH ~ why are these people protecting an animal abuser and rager??? (Becasue he sells the weed??? I don't get it)

Basically I told Kelly the whole story. TRUTHFULLY ~ I tried to be a MOM to him but all he did was grift,... take, take, take,.... he used me. I even had tears telling the story. (yes real tears)  Kelly sat and listened and 'looked' sympathetic but apparently the whole time she was getting info for darren and mark. I pretty much knew she would, but this proved that she is a 'penis lady',.... a woman who would rather be with a man - no matter how horrible he is - just to be with a man. In my world growing up, woman held each other up. We stood together in unity to show support to all woman. But not Kelly,.... she knows Darren is an animal abuser yet she CHOOSE to pretend he isn't and become his little BITCH TATTLER. Woman who hear the truth yet choose to ignore just so they don't have to stop being with a man is disgusting. I call them PENIS women. They throw honest women under the bus so they can be around men and be in the 'mens' camp. Her choice ~ but it was the wrong one. I now hate this woman - yet have to see her every fucking day in the gazebo. These people are nothing but shit disturbers. instigate,... poke,... disturb,... anything just to be nasty.

Kelly ~ you best stay away from me lady,.... I have some words for you!!!!

I told her there was a police report. I told her that the police actually called the humane society (not me) as when they heard him they were horrified at how he treated his cat. THEY don't lie. Kelly - you can pretend I am a liar or that I didn't tell you he was a animal abuser,... but the truth is YOU KNEW and choose to be friends anyway,....you can bury your head in the sand but the truth is ~ HE HURTS ANIMALS. So for you to protect him  - then I have lost all respect for you. YOU condone animal abuse by siding with him. By accepting it,.... what a dumb bitch. Man hungry bitch

So now there is yet another war in the gazebo. All because some bitch who is brand new couldn't keep her nose out of business that had nothing to do with her and happened years ago when she didn't even live here. She was so desperate to be 'one of the boys' that she ignored me telling her he abuses animals and likes him anyway,... that tells me all I need to know. DESPERATE FOR PENIS and hates women - NO RESPECT!!!!!!! I really don't know why women would do this to other women. You will have to ask her,...

And the grifting is out of control here too. We all make the same amount of money which is barely nothing. But I have taught myself to budget and even though life is bare sometimes - I still manage to get by without going hungry. Yet the young ones in this building spend all their money in a few days and then grift off us 'old-timers' (because we CAN budget) for the rest of the month ~ as their  money is gone. Adrian was complaing no money yet when we received our grocery and essential benefit this month (most got over $200) I put mine away in the bank for my trip. Adrian bought beats headphones and then yesterday came to me for stuff he couldn't afford. He actually got a free bong bowl from me as I just gave up and gave it to him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE????? I am so sick and tired of the grifting. take, take, take,.... buy your own stuff people and stop asking me.

If you can't tell I am sick of living here. I am desperate to move out of here,.... DESPERATE!!!!!

Looks like I'll be dead soon anyway

what to do?

Yesterday was so upsetting that I know I need to get out of this building for the sake of my mental health. So I just made an appointment with a financial advisor. I need to talk to someone who is not biased about my money. I have spoken with a person at my bank but I want another opinion as I'm sure an independent can offer me more options.

I hate to admit this, but it looks as if I may have to stay here for one more year. I just don't have quite enough money right now to buy a trailer comfortably. I can buy one and have my budget so tight I'm not sure I will even enjoy my new place. Or, I can wait and roll my money to make a bit more and maybe even have the real estate market collapse even more giving me more options there too. But I don't know the financial or real estate world anymore. I would be a fool to try and navigate it myself. I need help ~ which is why I need to talk to someone

But can I last another year here????

I hate these childish playground games - get me the fuck out of this hell-hole

Here we go again,... Darren Green making my life miserable. Yesterday while doing laundry I accidently left my keys in the laundry room. When I realized a few minutes later, I ran back to get them, but they were gone. I looked around the whole laundry room. No keys. And, mysteriously, noone was doing laundry so who was even in there to see and take them???? I looked everywhere for those keys. But they are well and truly gone. As I was walking around looking for them, I saw Darren starting laundry. Ahhh,.... now it was becoming clear. Darren must have went to do a load of laundry,... saw my keys,... saw an opportunity to take them, so he did. But he knew he couldnt' do his laundry right then as it would look too obvious. So he went back to his apartment and waited 20 minutes and then went back and then started his laundry so he could say "I just got there,... I didn't see any keys" 

But I know he has them. It's too obvious. I leave them - darren sees them and now they are gone,...

So I immediately called housing and let them know and asked them to go and look at the cctv footage. They cancelled my fob so noone can use it but the mail key is on that ring and the thief has that. I don't trust housing to help. They haven't helped in the past so why would they start now. I can almost guarantee you that they won't even check the cctv footage.

But to top it all off,... Darren has gone back to deflecting to save his own ass. The first thing he did was to run outside and tell everyone and spin his stroy. I stayed silent. 

But later in the gazebo I was alone when Kelly came out. The new girl I don't really like as she is friendly with Darren. She was so obvious it was almost humourous. She couldn't wait to ask "So, did you find your keys?" I knew she was fishing for info for Darren so I only gave her a one word anser - NO - and shut up. She wasn't satisfied - she needed to know more. So I told her the whole damn story. How it all started over me catching him abusing his cat. And from that day on all he does is throw me under the boss so I wont tell anyone what he really did. I don't think she believed me but I dont give a shit. IT IS THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!

It's all childish nonsense and I have had enough. Kelly was so obvious. She was working for DARREN. Darren got to her,.... that is exactly how he operates. He throws the spotlight off of himself by throwing someone else under the boss. And because I won't stoop to his level and fight back - I lose. I keep my mouth shut as I refuse to be a gossip like all the rest of them but in keeping silent I dug my own grave. Darren was able to say what he wanted to everyone while I hid in my apartment. I refuse to be lowered into his childish head games. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID and I dont care who doesn't believe me.  I KNOW and DARREN KNOWS and thats all that matters to me. 

But boy am I pissed at this nosy Kelly chick. This is NONE of her fucking business. I am so tired of this lets gang up on Jacquie bullshit. Darren is like a playground little girl. He is a MEAN GIRL. 

But I really don't give a shit anymore. I am just going to get the fuck out of this building as soon as I can. ANY WAY I CAN,... and sadly if I dont' find a place to live,.... I will end my life!!!!! I can't take this bullshit anymore,....

Childish fucking nonsense and I refuse to be dragged into it.

Darren ~ just give me my fucking keys back and stop being a little drama queen. But most of all ~ STOP telling people lies about me. We both know you abused your cat and I caught you!!! THAT is why you are mad,....  THAT is the reason you are so angry. I DID NOTHING WRONG ~ yet you had to ruin my life by throwing me under the boss to save your own cat abusing ass. You don't deserve to have a pet. Even now I walk by and I still hear you yelling at that poor little cat,.... Darren, you have severe rage issues you need to deal with. SEVERE rage issues. GET SOME FUCKING HELP and stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes. 

What you have done to me just shows you for the coward you are. Instead of owning up to your mistake - you deflected it onto me. Your not a man - your a fucking little boy who ruins others lives to save his own,... grow up.

I dont' care how many people you lie to and turn against me,... I will be gone soon. But you? You have to live with your lies until the day you die,... good luck at the pearly gates of heaven when you have to finally be accountable and admit what you have done. You can lie to anyone you want and get away with it. But someday you will be accountable,....

that is karma and that is what I wait for,....

KARMA Darren - it's coming for you! Not by me,.... but it's coming for you,....

 

Lots to think about

It's been a long day and it's only mid-afternoon. But some good things happened so I am actually happy right now. First off - I received a confirmation email for my flights. That means the tickets are active. That is a load off of my mind.

I had an appointment at my bank this morning. I wanted to speak with someone about buying a home. He had some good advice. And now I have a lot to think about. He suggested waiting 2 years to move out of here until I am 65. Apparently when I turn 65 a lot of my benefits will change and for the positive. But my homework this week will be to  call the government and find out exactly how they will change. I think I lose my ODSP and I gain OAS. This can only be good news as now I won't have any of the extremely strict restrictions that ODSP enforce. If I wait until I am off of ODSP I won't be penalized for buying a home and lose my ODSP altogether. I can now live with someone if I want to share the cost. ODSP does not allow us to live with another adult or it effects our amount and sometimes has us lose it altogether. Losing ODSP is a positive thing as it gives me so many more choices. 

But can I wait two years??? Can I live in this building for another 2 years???? Ahhhhhhhh!!! I don't want to. I want out of here ASAP. But it sounds like my monthly budget could nearly double at 65 giving me a much more comfortable life. I won't be so strapped each month.

what to do? 

what to do?

what to do?

And even the gazebo was good today. I was out there with Mike wehn Kelly came out. I though uh-oh,... here we go,... but to her credit she was great. Nothing was said about two days ago and we both acted nice. Maybe just a bad day for her? who knows,... but today everything is cool.

Adrian is getting worse. He had a bit of a rant that left Mike and I looking at each other with raised eyebrows. I like Adrian but at times he makes me feel a bit nervous. He can get a bit weird leaving me with a bit of a 'creep' factor. He does not mean any ill intent. He is just odd and sometimes leaves me a bit unsettled ~ to the point I just feel more comfortable when there is someone else in the gazebo with me when he is out there too. I don't think he is dangerous??? But,... at this place. You can never be too careful. better to be safe than sorry.

I hate this place with a passion

 I am so sick of the drama here,...

We got a new girl. Kelly. From the Traverse side of the building, which means she is here temporarily until she has recovered. (Usually about 3 years) This spring, I had not been in the gazebo all winter. The first day I go out there - she is there. Obviously she has no idea I live here and have for the past 10 years.  She totally ignores me as I come in. Over the next few minutes I start chatting with someone else. I say something to someone and she turns around and says "We don't talk about that in here" The first thing this lady says to me ever. Ok then,... we don't talk about that in here,.... (I think it was about the war in Iran) Anyway I completely let it go. Roll on today. I am out there with Adrian and her and Bruce come in with their mahoosive scooters that take up the whole gazebo making us squash ourselves into the corners to give them room. As I am speaking with Adrian who is sitting across from me (just normal chit chat) she is talking to Bruce. But the way we are all sitting it ends up we are all cross-talking. But the thing is - it wasn't a big deal! Well Adrian and I talking set her off. I guess while she was talking to Bruce we were suppose to shut up and give her the whole damn gazebo. Whatever,... she got all huffy and rolled her eyes and did a big dramatic sigh and then nearly ran my feet over with her scooter in her anger to get out. How dare we talk while she is talking to Bruce!!!! It was actually humourous to see such childish behaviour. What a fucking drama queen. She has lived here 5 minutes and twice she has told me what to do. I let it go both times but not next time. These damn kids coming in think they own the place. They have no respect for the older ones who have been here for 10 plus years. She literally came crashing in on her scooter and demanded everyone stop and listen to her. I can't be bothered with this shit. I just let her have her temper tantrum and watched her and Bruce leave. I hate having to go into the gazebo but we have no choice. It's the one and only smoking area and we have to use it. Funny how for 6 years the gazebo was fine. As soon as the young ones came in - it became a toxic war zone.

And this morning Jen comes sauntering into the gazego wearing a puffy jacket wide open and just a bra. She was so proud too. Said she bought it and it was so pretty she is wearing it as a top. (heal of hand smacks my forehead) I just can't deal with these people. Since when is wearing just a bra for your top ok????? 

I have chatted with both Adrian and Ralph the two other old-timers and we all agree that this place has gone to ruins and all three of us are fed up and want out. 

I am so tired of drama queens getting upset when they arent' the centre of attention,.... I am so sick of the drama period!! They are all a bunch of spoiled little brats that think the world revolves around them. Kelly,... Darren,... Mark,.... Jen,.... Tonya,... Arseen,.... overgrown children who behave like entitled brats - all of them.

But hopefully I will be getting the hell out of here one way or another. If I can't move - then I do the other,.... but there is NO WAY I will ever live in this fucking shit hole of a building.

Death or move - but I will escape this hell hole. 

The letter to my local MP asking why there is no affordable housing

I am so fed up of no housing I wrote this email to our local MP:

**********************************************

I am a 63 year old lady living in Ontario Housing here in Fergus. I have had my life threatened,.... been bullied mercilessly,... and don't feel at all safe living here. I have asked for help numerous times over the past 5 years, but no help ever comes. I have asked for an emergency transfer but got a "no" (I have to be domestically violated before they will help - I guess having your life threatened didn't qualify) And on top of all of that - I have no family doctor and I am dying of heart disease with no health care.


I have been searching for 2 years for affordable housing, I am on ODSP, CPP, and NDB totally $1580 a month to live on. I have been searching all over CANADA for affordable housing but there isnt' any.


I was hit by a car Feb 2024 and got a small settlement of $***,***. You would think I had won the lottery and my problems were finally over. So imagine my anger and resentment when all it did was effect my ODSP and I nearly lost that. After two years of searching all across Canada I still can't find an affordable place to live. WHY?


I have $***,*** and $1580 a month budget yet I am laughed at whenever I apply for housing. As soon as they hear I am on ODSP? They won't even let me see the rental. They don't rent to us because we don't make enough to survive and they know it. So I tried buying a trailer or RV or tiny home. But the bylaws and zoning laws make it impossible. RV's and tiny homes should be the obvious solution to homelessness but it isn't. A tiny home you would have to live off-grid and at 63 and disabled that is not an option. An RV would cost about $600 to $1200 a month pad rental with park fees on top of that. NOT AFFORDABLE to the poor.


THERE IS NO AFFORDABLE HOUSING IN ALL OF CANADA


So I am flying to BC on June 30th to ask for MAiDs. I have applied here in Ontario twice in the past 6 years but was told no. (NO? I mean how much pain do you need to be in to get a yes????) So I am now trying to apply in Vancouver to get MaiDs there. I fly there June 30th to start the proceedings,..... I don't want to die - I just feel trapped and have no choices and I refuse to be homeless because this province screwed up. Why should I pay the price for a bad government that can't even see the disabled???


SHAME ON CANADA!!!!!!!


I am going to be 63 in September but I probably won't even see that birthday.


This province has left me with two choices. Be threatened and bullied and harassed in my own home until I'm suicidal living here in Ontario Housing OR commit suicide through MAiDs. The answer to this is obvious. A transfer to a new building but that is not available to me. Why? You will have to ask Ontario Housing why I am not worth helping. I have asked so many times I just gave up asking. I am invisible to them


I have no idea why Ontario Housing does not take me seriously. I really got ZERO help from them and instead I was made to feel like a nuisance. So I gave up. Where is the dignity in this????


I refuse to live here and be traumatized daily and I refuse to be homeless and live under a bridge.
How sad that death is the only option to me now.


WHERE IS AFFORDABLE HOUSING?


It's absolutely disgusting that I have $***,*** to my name ~ but STILL can't find housing,....


What happened to this country? To this province and to this community that seems to only offer me one solution.
HOMEWOOD. Every time I ask for housing - I get threatened with a psychiatric hospital. If they can't help with housing then they assuage their guilt by saying I'm mental and need to be put in a psychiatric hospital. That's insane!!!!!! This community can't give me housing so they call me mental and throw me into Homewood where I can't talk anymore. The problem is gone for awhile,.... but the problem is still here!!!!! NO HOUSING


How dare this country treat a 63 year old disabled person like this,.....


This country is in ruins. When people choose death because there is no place for them on this planet????? Something is terribly wrong.


STOP BLAMING US FOR BEING ANGRY ABOUT OUR SITUATION. We dare to complain and we get thrown in Homewood, or worse yet evicted because we couldn't behave (we got angry about being ignored and paid the price for it ~ you don't talk back to Ontario housing or you pay!!!!)


I would rather be dead ~ and I hope to be by September of this year.


The police already know,.... Here 24/7 already knows,... but still,.... no help. Just threats of Homewood. I(f you can't help? Then blame them and call them crazy for being angry that they have been ignored and thrown away to rot. Yeah,... punish them for having feelings about that,....) call them crazy


FIVE years I have been asking this community for helpbut gone NONE! Now I choose MaiDs. As now I realize the reason no one is helping is because there isn't help out there,..... There is no affordable housing.


And I have to pay for that. No thanks I'd rather be dead.


*******************************************

Post script:  As of June 11th ~ I have received NOTHING BACK about this letter from the MP's office. 

IGNORED AGAIN ~ we are just wothless pieces of shit to this community