I hate it here. Yesterday I ran into Aidrian at the walkin clinic and told him I would tell him what I find out when I got back, but the appointment was for my high blood pressure. When I walked back I saw Aidrian in the gazebo with Jen, Mark and Darren. I started to walk over and Darren and Mark got up to leave as they always do when I come in (which I secretly love as I get a chair now,... and I don't have to deal with them,...lol). But Jen was also in there. I do not like this woman as she does nothing but grift off of everyone, and is always high or drunk and talks nothing but nonsense we don't even understand half the time.
By the time I get into the gazebo it is just the 3 of us. Adrian asks how it went. I start to tell him,... I tell him it's bad news and explain I have a serious heart condition. He behaves appropriately with "wow, thats not good,.." or something along those lines. But Jen? Who by the way isn't even in this conversation, interrupts with the old "Thats nothing, I,..." and proceeded to tell us her whole life problems. Every time we see this woman she tells us her problems. I got fed up and told her a game was about to start and I just got up and left. I didn't even get to talk to Aidrian about my news as she just wouldn't let me talk. She talked about how she had a dream that her daughter was dead. I mean I didn't want to hear any of this. But she just took over as she always does. I've never met such an entitled - clueless to everyone around her - woman. She only sees herself.
I am so fed up of the addicts and alcoholics I am forced to sit with in that gazebo. All they do is ask for money or whine about their problems. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS. But the old-timers I hang out with we just keep them to ourselves. But not Jen,... no she wants the whole world to think she is so hard done by yet she won't lift a finger to help herself. She has been in rehab twice this year alone and keeps leaving. NO SYMPATHY as we have all tried to help her but we end up getting used. We have all given up trying to help her and now just try and avoid her. But she won't leave us alone.
I am so frustrated living here I just want out!!!!!!!
How did I end up here in this degenerate hell hole???? HOW????
If I can't escape this place, I think it's better I just die of a heart attack anyway. Life is not enjoyable anymore and I'd rather just be gone,....
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P.S. I found my keys! I guess I dropped them outside somewhere and someone picked them up and left them in the common room. The fob has been deactivated but atleast I still have my Manchester United lanyard.
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