I've done it now,.... but I have had enough!!!!!!!!!! So this is the letter I wrote to Ontario Housing:

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I would like to talk to you next week about the bullying and gossip in this building. I am subjected to it daily when I do my laps. When I go out to the gazebo,...  And because of this my mental health has deteriorated to the point I no longer wish to be alive. I have called MAiDs and am starting the process of ending my life. WHY? Because I can't take one more day of the gossip and bullying in this building. It destroys you. I feel trapped with nowhere to escape but death. I am being bullied to death,... but no one seems to care. Not the police,... not housing,... not this community at all. So with no answers to help with this - I am choosing DEATH.

The last straw was yesterday I did my laps with the intention of getting my mail once on the first floor. When I came out of the stairwell in front of the common room, Arseen and Phyllis were sitting on their walkers - as they always do. They hate me (have no idea why) If you remember the first day I came back from BC and you and I met in the common room,... Phyllis was sitting in the lobby and accosted me the second I got into the building. "Why are you back - I don't like you I don't want you here,... blah, blah, blah,...) She literally made me cry! I don't even know this woman yet she has been rude and horrible since the day we met. But back to yesterday,...

As I came into that area Infront of the common room doors where they sit everyday, I distinctly heard Phyllis whisper to Arseen "I would like to punch that woman in the face" I immediately turned my head around to show her I had heard that, and as I looked at her, she sneered with gloat. Egging me on to say something to cause a scene. Then they could say I attacked them.  I totally ignored them and went into the main lobby to retrieve my mail. When I came  back out, I was forced to stand two feet Infront of them while I waited for the elevator. Which took about 3 minutes. Very awkward and uncomfortable three  minutes. They both stayed completely silent with looks of gloat on their faces as they knew I had heard her ~ but they also knew I couldn't prove she said it ~ so they were quite pleased with themselves. As I got onto the elevator they both broke out laughing,.... childish playground games I am fed up with. WHY?????????

Arseen and a handful of other gossips and instigators sit in the actual lobby or right Infront of the common room doors  every single day and have done for YEARS!. They sit here as they are able to see and hear everything that goes on in this building and then they gossip to everyone about what they heard. They make life unbearable for some of us folk living here.

Imagine calling 911 and you have to be wheeled out Infront of all of these people who you know will tell the whole building your business in minutes. I know - as they have done this. There is NO PRIVACY at all in this building. 

My solution is very simple but for 10 years I was told NO - you couldnt enforce my suggestion. Ontario Housing will not enforce this rule. I have no idea why as it can only help the situation. I say BANN anyone from sitting in the lobby (unless they are waiting for a ride) and Bann them from sitting directly Infront of the common room. The common room is made for people to get together and sit. So WHY do they have to be IN THE WAY in the lobby and the halls. Make them sit in the common room. THATS what it is there for!!!! But instead, I get subjected to their laughter,... their snide remarks,... and their general childish behaviour  just making me feel awful.

It comes from about 5 or 6 of your tenants. Gossips,... liars,.... just out and out instigators trying to cause drama. These two were blatantly 'baiting' me to start something.

I cant live here anymore. The day I moved in Tonya Halls and that handful of lobby dwellers decided they didnt like me and my life here has been hell ever since. Add darren and mark to the mix and now I dont even feel safe.

My life is not good. I have no family doctor and live in severe pain. I am still living with the pain and deficits of my car accident from 2 years ago as I have no health care. I live in pain and poverty. Life is really, really hard. To have to deal with the drama of a handful of childish people who have nothing to do during the day so they cause drama to pass the time. They use folk for their entertainment.

At this point, I am tired of fighting. I should not have to be made to feel like a hated ostracised person because your tenants are bored and mean and have nothing to do. Arseen is your number one gossip and instigator but he is clever enough to do it so noone sees. 

I'm done being a victim and am choosing death to escape. But maybe you and everyone else working at housing should sit up and take notice. WHY are tenants choosing Maids over living in your buildings. Because DEATH is better than what I am subjected to DAILY in this building. I am well aware of the suicides in this demographic of people. And one of the reason we do it is because we feel trapped and alone with no help in the future.

I wasn't put on this planet to be bullied. But that seems to be my purpose in this place. And poverty leaves me no choices to leave. And because I am trapped and have no place to go??? I am choosing DEATH. My mental health can't take it anymore.

Re-read that,.....

People on ODSP and living in Housing are so depressed and bullied they are choosing death.

Life has become unbearable and I will not be forced to endure living this way anymore. I have never felt so HATED and bullied in my life. I can't take it.

You do what you need to do and I will do what I need to do - but I need you and the rest of housing to understand how worthless and victimized we feel. but noone speaks out becasue we will regret if we do,.... I have been 'regretting' it for 10 years now and cant' take one more day.

I just want to be dead now.

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