I didn't want to get out of bed today. What for? To stare at a tv for the next 16 ot 18 hours? Torture,...

I am feeling completely empty again today. The minute I opened my eyes I felt regret I was still alive. My anxiety instantly rose and right now I feel very, very uncomfortable.

I am angry at my lawyer becasue I have no idea what is happening with my case and this is causing mu a lot of undue stress and worry. I have no answers which leaves me not able to make informed decisions. AM I GETTING A SETTLEMENT? I guess I'll never know,... ***crickets*** and if this lawyer is anything like my divorce lawyer was, then I'm sure he doesn't get back to me becasue it's about $100 an hour on the phone or email. So I can't even afford to talk to my lawyer. 

My life is a joke. 

I sit here right now with a scalpel beside me. My heart is so sad,... my stress at becoming homeless unbearable,... my pain never ending. I just want it all to end. The pain,... the money problems,... the poverty,...

So today I sit here trying to find the courage to do what I need to do.

I just can't bear living this life anymore.

It's inhumane.

Please,.... give me the courage I need to find the peace that I so desperately covet.

To finally kill myself. And finally find PEACE.