I only have the clothes on my back to wear. I was in such a hurry to leave. And of course I waas walking so I could only bring what I could carry. So my two big luggage are still at D's. The only thing I have is my backpack which I packed all my devices in,... and my carry on suitcase which has all my toiletries in it. I was in such a hurry to get out of there I didn't pack any clothes.

There is more you need to know. D was in more trouble than I knew. I was suppose to save her with my monthly rent. Thats all I knew when I boarded that plane. Now she says shes suicidal. When I said I didn't know that she blew up. how could you not know that,... she was shouting and ranting and it scared me. So i packed as quickly as I could to get out of there.

I have my own mental health problems. I cannot be responsible for Dianne being suicidal. She was suicidal before I got there. But she was so upset I got the immpression she thinks I made her more suicidal by leaving. But I had to,... I can't be suicidal myself and know she is too,... I can only deal with myself right now. That is all the energy I have. 

U am not responsible for Diannes mental health. i told her to get medication for her anger and rage but she wasn't listening. Just shouting. I couldnt' get a word in edgewise. So I just left. THATS when she said something about suicidal and I was shocked and she was incensed that i didn't realize. 

It was not a good enviroment for me to recover in. It was like walking on eggshells all the time trying not to upset D. Her Mom and her brother and I walked on eggshells around her. Everything seemed to set her off. I had that in Darren back in fergus,... and it did not end well. So I knew she wouldn't change. I can't be in that enviroment right now.

So I sit here with just the clothes on my back and no glasses so I can't read what pep[le are texting me. I can't even read when the bus comes in to Duncan. i can't read a taxi drivers number. I am blind for reading.

I am scared. I feel so alone and noone can help me.

Why is my life so difficult? 

I can't do this anymore. I am too tired. I just don't care what happens to me anymore. I'm tired of trying to find a home all the time. I'm tired of being so poor I can't make any choices of my own. I am so tired of not being able toafford this bery expensive society. I have $599 left in cash. If I stay in this motel one more night it will leave me with $200. Is that enough to get me to Vancouver?? Probobly not. 

My settlement money isn't in yet and I can't send them a direct deposit form becasue I am homelss and don't know how. So themoney can't get deposited until I figure that out. 

I am so tired. I so want my prince charming to come and rescue me and take care of me. I am so tired of struggling on my own and  always trying to figure everything out alone.

I am 61!!!!!! I am in pain,.... and I am homeless in aprovince I know noone. I reached out to a couple of the Morgans here but they were not receptive so I'm not getting help from them/ 

I am alone

I am terrified

I just want to die and be over with it all