I have a home!

The great news is ~ I have a home.The woman I was working with just before I left ontario Housing has been helping me. I contacted her while still in Vancouver. She has been working tirelessly behind the scenes to get me my old apartment back. I was so tired yesterday but I couldn't sleep. I was up half of the night worrying. So when the phone rang first thing this morning it startled me. But it turned out to be the best call ever. They are not only offering me my old apartment back, but at the same rate. I still get to keep my housing benefit. This news brought tears to my eyes.

I am safe. 

I have a home.

I have nothing to put into it ~ but at this point I don't care. I will slowly refurnish it as time allows. Right now I don't even have a bed or a chair to sit in. So they will be my first big purchases. I can see my setllement money will be gone instantly just buying everything back that I got rid of.

Sadly,... my poor little Maggie cannot be brought back. And if I'm to be honest, I haven't even had a chance to grieve her passing yet. I have been in survival mode for so long I have purposely not thought about her. But I know the moment I walk back into that apartment I will miss her. I am tearing up now just thinking about it. That apartment was full of her. And now it will be empty. 

But I can't think about that right now. I have so much to do. I decided to stay in the motel one more night (It's already paid for) instead of moving in today as at least I will have a bed and tv for the night. I plan on getting up bright and early and taking a taxi to Fergus ~ I dont even care how much it costs. I just want HOME,.... 

I have closed this blog to private. My family for some reason is FURIOUS with me. My sister in law left me this message today.

So,... I no longer have ANY FAMILY AT ALL. NONE

I must be very mentally ill because I still don't know why they are all so mad. I had the month from HELL,... yet they are mad at ME. So, I have made a conscious decision to let them all go. Whether they are right or wrong,... I can't let them break me. Right now I have to look after myself. I have to survive and to do that I have to do it myself. 

The only thing I can think of, is Hayley has a text that Dianne sent to me. WHY does Hayley have it?? So I think Dianne (the woman who scammed me) has been in touch with my family saying I did this to her,... whatever,.... I don't have the capacity to deal with this right now. All I can do is put a line under everything and just move on. Without them. Start a new life ~ without them. Not that I ever had them in my life to begin with. This just shows I will never be good enough for them and I will always be a toxic drama queen in their eyes.

So,.... on to new and better things. 

I know I am back in the building with that woman. But I had a long talk with the woman who has been helping me and she says it wont happen again. Tonya Halls will never tattle on me again. I don't know what that means and I don't care. I am just grateful she can't bully me out of the building again. HOUSING is on to her now,...

And thats where things stand. I only want my subscribers to read my blog now. I am tired of my family reading it and taking it all wrong and hating me. So from now on ~ aside from my original readers/subscribers who are already subscribed and I know are good people,... NOONE else will ever read my thoughts again.

I may be wrong and too mentally ill to see it. Maybe I do hurt people. But whatever the real issue is ~ I have to walk away and start again. My families anger has left me devastated. Theres nothing I can do to change their minds so I have to walk away.

Right now my sanity and mental health come first. And right now, I need to work on that rather than burden myself with how others feel about me.

All I can do is look forward.