Not ONE fucking person can help

It is very early on Tuesday morning. I am up and showered and sat here in the Best Western Motel ~ with no choices.

I have $900 in the bank but no credit card to allow me to purchase a plane ticket or another motel room. 

My settlement money is in the stratisphere somewhere ~ and coming ~ but who knows when???? a few weeks,... be patient,.... I don't have the luxury of being patient. I have $851.51 coming in a month.

I have $900 in my account,... $27 in my wallet,... and no way to get home.

I have been calling around but apparently I am just not important enough for anyone to disrupt their lives right now. NOONE has any room. Which is bullshit because I took Hayley in and had her sleep on my floor because she was so desperate. I disrupted my life to help her.

But noone seems to be able to help me. I am not worth a disruption. Just no, no, no,... we have no room.

They all keep telling me to go to shelters. Ok,... I go to your shelter,... but then what?????? Ok,... I'm in  shelter which by the way you dont stay in - you just sleep there - you are still homeless wandering the streets that are pretty fucking dangerous here in Vancouver. Do i stay there forever until ALL of my money is gone or do I try and get home now while I still have some money?????

All of you just want to see me in a fucking shelter.

That is just prolonging the homelessness. I am not getting BC resources. I have been told that. People who live here will get them first ~ before I do ~ and there are thousands of them. I am NOT getting help here. I have been told that. I have been told to just go home.

But I can't get there and I have nowhere to go once I'm there.

I have never felt so unworthy in my life.

NOT ONE PERSON CAN HELP????????

Then it's time to leave the party.

Thanks,... I know some of you could have helped but choose not to disrupt your life. I wasn't worth it. 

I see no other choice now because I am not walking around BC homeless anymore

I refuse ~ as it's fucking inhumane.

YOU live in a fucking shelter,....

I'm done

I guess they will find me dead in my bed here

Thanks to the people who I knew could help but choose not to ~ you just didn't have the room in your big old house