I haven't written yet today. My heart just isn't in anything. I have actually spent about three hours on the phone making calls to resolve issues that never ever got resolved. It has been a 'nothing has worked out' couple of days.

I ordered a tv from BestBuy on Saturday. But because I don't have a vehicle I ordered it online. It was suppose to arrive Tuesday but never did. Finally it arrived on Wednesday. BROKEN. I called the tv brand and went through their steps of trying to fix it. (Black screen). Finally Hisense admitted it was broken and told me to call BestBuy for a refund.

This is where the runaround began. They can have Purolator pick it up if I print out a label. I don't have a printer,... or the means to print out a label for purolator. I spoke with three customer service reps and two supervisors and all said the same thing. NO LABEL - NO REFUND!

I'm sorry that is just wrong. I am not the only person in this world that does not own a printer. But they are ADAMANT that if I dont print out this label - they are not coming to pick up this $500 tv and I am receiving NO REFUND. I made more phone calls. 

Still ~ they refuse to find another way to help me send back this damn tv. So as it sits the last email I received from them states basically they are sorry but no label - no refund.

I cannot afford to throw away nearly $600 on a tv that is broken in a box sitting in my hallway. To say I am frustrated and angry is an understatement.

THEN,... the air mattress I bought not even a week ago is broken. The attached pump has broken. You cannot inflate this mattress anymore as the motor on the pump is broken. But I have nothing else to sleep on. AND I have run out of money.

So now I am sleeping on a mattress with only a tiny bit of air in it. So basically I am sleeping on the hard floor and this has left me in severe pain and also angry that yet another thing I have paid a lot of money for has broken. Now I have to take it back.

I also can't get into my bank account. That damn 2 step authorization has an OLD phone number that you need for the recovery pass code. I have phoned the bank - twice. BEEN to the bank - once. They say it has to be changed on line. So I spent hours on line only to hear my local bank branch is the only one who can change this old verification phone number. So again - I go to them only to be told they can't.

So I have NO WAY OF GETTING INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT and noone seems to be able to fix this very simple problem. To change a phone number. I cannot believe they are giving me the runaround. I can't keep walking downtown to this damn bank to be told to do it online. And then told online to walk back down to my damn bank.

So I am just angry and frustrated today. Noone seems to have any pride in ehlping customers anymore. Just this is the rules and I can't help you.

So I have lost $600 on the tv and I can't get into my bank account at all. 

I have no money left - NONE. So I can't even buy another bed to sleep on. So tonight I have to sleep on the floor again. I can't be bothered. I will just stay up all night and sit in my chair or walk around. That floor is cement with hard tile. You can't sleep on it.

I was going to go downtown today to sort all of this out ~ again. (or at least try again) but it became very cold here in Ontario and guess what- I dont even own a jacket anymore. It was just too cold to walk and I have no money for a taxi.

I hav eno food - no bed - no tv - and no money,

I'm just fed up. And this after the no doctor fiascal.

I dont even want to be here anymore.

I have an apartment. But that is absolutely ALL I have. I only bring in $851.51 a month.

READ THAT AGAIN ~ I only bring in $851.51 a MONTH. My rent is $600. 

Why am I fighting so hard to live a life where I can't even afford to eat????

I feel absolutely deflated with no hope today.

Every time i take one step forward,... I have to take 3 steps back.

I am hungry

I need a bed

I need a bank account I can access

And I want my fucking money back from that tv.

But none of these things are going to happen

So why am I fighting so hard to hold on to this apartment?

I can't afford to even pay for it.

Why am I even fucking alive?