Now the REAL story comes out,...

 I have to be quick as I have lost my laptop charger and I only have a quarter power left

Here is the real story I was too intimidated to talk about it earlier.

The whole "move to BC so I can save you" was a lie.

The truth is, Diannes world is falling apart. She is losing her home. The very home that I am suppose to be starting up a B & B with. So imagine my shock when I arrive and find "her house is up for sale". 

I thought she was an achieved business woman with her hand in many pies. But in the end, she is just scrambling to save her home and property. I was suppose to be the rent to do that. So much of her story was never disclosed to me until AFTER I arrived in BC. Essentially when it's too late to go home.

She is a rager,... she is always angry,... nothing I did was ever good enough for her,... she was a tyrant. But becasue I was now 'stuck' there I convinced myself she was under stress and this was a bad week.

I can't talk about this in detail. Becasue Dianne is so well known for this behaviour that I accidently ran into someone in Duncan that happens to know her - well. They said her life is a shit-show and she only brings people down. Uses them becasue she has no money. 

When I arrived in BC, her home was up for sale and she was in the process of trying to get a second mortgage. Without going into detail she was a sinking ship. She will never - ever - in a million years admit this as she thinks of herself as a successful person. The truth about the B & B???? She has had two guests - tops - EVER come to stay there. TWO!!! She told me she has made up to $6000 to $8000 a month at BOTH of her B & B's (one is in Edmonton I guess) but talk around town is there never was a Blackberry Bunch BnB ~ only in her imagination. I wondered as everytime I got excited about making plans and wanted her to get going on it,... there was always more important things for her to do. Not once did we ever sit down and make one plan about that B & B. Now I know why.

Dianne is a pot head. I know I smoke weed. I smoke for pain about 4 or 5 bowls a day. She is like Darren was back in Fergus. She smokes joints like tobacco. She DRIVES high with a joint in her hand. (an absolute no-no to me) she drove after drinking a few beers. Her driving is so bad as she is so distracted with her smoking and phone that I was actuallyt scared driving with her.

So,... someone came to talk to me yesterday. I still dont' know exactly who they are or how they know Dianne or more to the point how they knew who I was and came looking for me in Duncan. This person sat me down and basically said ~ Run,.... far and fast,... but run.

So now I am mad. I gave up m y whole life to come to BC to what??? A house up for sale and no real B & B at all. Just a pipe dream from a pot head. I was well and truly dupped and these folk knew this and took the time to drive to Duncan to come to the homeless encampment and find me. They took me aside and told me what Dianne was really like. They said if I didn't leave,... she would drag me down like she has other people. 

So it wasn't all in my head. i was right. Something wasn't right from the moment I got there. But I was blinded by her charm,... the beauty of BC,... and the hope of a fresh start. What I got was a angry ragey woman who I just couldn't please no matter what I did. I ended up feeling like a child being scolded.

So i told her brother (who now hates me too) that I am coming tonight for my $750 rent money and if they don't have it I am calling the police to tell a story to them. Dianne has fucked off to Edmonton leaving her brother with her dirty work so hopefully he won't be a problem.

I am very concerned for my stuff though. She has two suitcases and 5 small boxes of my belongings. I have NO CLOTHES with me right now. She has them all at her place. I had to walk to the Croft Inn when I left so i couldn't bring the big suitcases. I have no idea what to do about them now.Once I get my money I cna't go back to get them. I need a car - someone to come with me to pick them up for me but I don't know anyone who can do that. So I am pretty much thinking I have LOST everything I own,....

This has been a real shit show

I have no money to come home. And nowhere to go if I did come back. I don't want to stay here anymore. Everyone around this area knows Dianne and I don't want to ber anyones gossip again. I just want to come home. But how????

I have bought fentanyl. But I am waiting for help. I am hoping someone - somewhere can help in some way. But so far,... no one seems to be in a position to help me. (it's a big help!!!! I get it) but if no help is coming,... I just don't have it in me start over - in poverty - again. I WILL use the fentanyl.

But - fingers crossed - maybe there is an angel out there who CAN help. I owe it to myself to wait a week to see. Maybe with the $750 I get from Dianne I can go back to the Croft Inn and manage another night there???? 

My life has completely fallen apart and I am at the mercy of the rest of the world to help me.

By the way,... my Dads family (the Morgans) won't be helping. My Aunt Marg blocked me after I had messaged her I was coming, so,... I took the hint and got it. No help from the Morgans ~ I am on my own.

So please,... someone - somewhere - if you have the means to help,... I don't even know how or what I need??? But if you can,... you will literally be saving my life. I am not living here homeless. Been there - done that - never going to do it again. 

As I sit here I stink. I haven't had a shower in two days. I can't find my brush so I look as homeless as the rest of them. I have lost all sense of dignity and worth and if this continues I WILL be ending it. And before anyone says anything,... YOU go be homeless for a month to get a real feel for what poverty is and THEN you can judge me. But until you haven't showerd,... are wearing dirty clothes,... haven't brushed your teeth and have no money??? Your words don't mean a thing to me. walk the walk before you judge me.

I'm 61!!!! I need a bed!!!! I am too fucking old to be living on the streets with a bunch of fentanyl addicts. It is so bad here,... I had bought some in about 5 minutes. This is not the life I envsioned for me here,... and I refuse to live that.

But it just seems that noone can ever seem to help me.

Which leaves me feeling so hopeless and worthless.

My email is  jrholyoak63@hotmail.com   if you can reach out to offer any help. I won't have internet after this. I am sat in the library pretending to not be homeless but they are getting suspicious,...

The life of the homeless is the most DEGRADING existence I have ever lived.