There is absolutely NO FUCKIN G HOPE NOW

I knew they would forget to call me. When she emailed she asked what time to call and I said after my coffee around 9. By two o'clock - no phone call. So I called her. It did not go well. She didn't really know my case. She knew my name and who I was and that she knew she had to call me today. But she stammered and hummed and hahed until she could pull up my email and 'remember' why she was goning to call me. I have to think if I hadn't called her,... she would have forgot.

But shw had nothing. I secretly had my hopes up that maybe they had found a doctor or something,.. but she just went down and itemized list of things we tried already (like she was refreshing herself with my case,...) So I got mad (big surprize) and said you don't even know who I am do you? What my case is? I am just small fries to you guys arent' I,.... I embarrassed her enough that she said she would get the lawyer to call me.

That call went even worse. 

Now,... I know I am on my own when it comes to my arm and hands. They can't help me. So,....

I am out of hope,...

I was on their convere belt and they forgot I was going around and around and around,....

I was ,.... as usual,.... INVISABLE!

Now I KNOW there is nothing coming down the pipe to help me so I just have to end this shit show.

I can't tell you how horrible it feels to be thrown away and left to rot,....

Its so demeaning and humiliating I just don't want to carry on.

Don't even want to wait for BC now,... just want to be GONE<>>>>>>>>>>