I can't take this pain anymore - I just need to die now

I woke up with a headache. This is unusual for me. I took my blood pressure once awake and it is a bit higher than normal. Nothing I can do about it though. So I just got up and put the coffee on. It's now an hour later and the headache remains. I am also sitting here in a lot of pain. But because of the eviction threat I can't risk vaping. So instead I sit here in agony. Knowing that 3 hits on my vape would take most of this pain away.

But because of threats of eviciton ~ I don't dare. But this leaves me resentful and angry. Pain is hard to live with. But to know you have pain relief RIGHT THERE but you will be 'tattled' on if you use it ~ is so frustrating. It's like the whole world has control over me except me! Even TONYA has control over whether I have pain relief or not. If it weren't for her tattleing I would just vape in here. But she is out to get me so I don't dare. So instead I sit here in absolute agony and that has left me SUICIDAL. 

I am not coping well with this pain and all I want to do is end my life to end this pain.

WHY do I have absoutely no control over my life???? Because your your white trailer trash - a welfare whore who noone cares if you sit here in pain all day,...

NOONE FUCKING CARES,... except TONYA who will 'tattle',...

I can't take this pain,.... something is going to happen today because I can't bear this relentless pain one more minute! 

I need to just die!! I just can't take this pain!!