Fuck you all

I have completely given up now. I was counting on this lawyer to help me. But I could tell he didn't even really know how I was. When I lit into him about losing ODSP he couldn't even remember that conversation we had. How he told me it would all be ok to receive these payments as it wouldn't change anything. But it did. And now I have lost everything. He still doesnt get it. He isn't seeing how serious losing ODSP and my housing is. So I should never have called this man in the first place.

I AM SO SORRY THAT I EVER CALLED A LAWYER 

Instead of helping me,.... he has fuckied me up even worse than before the accident. At least before I had an income and my housing benefit. Now after my insurance payments run out -     I have nothing. I have my CPP which is about $900 and that is my TOTAL income a month now. I have been royally screwed and he has shown no interest in fixing it. Infact,... I don't even think he is still my lawyer. I think the case is done. I got nothing but screwed out of my income. And until I pay ODSP there 4 or 5 thousand dollars back,... I don't get another penny.

I AM SO SORRY I EVER CALLED A LAWYER

So now I am ruined. I have no income,... I will lose my housing benefit as soon as they see my new income tax which has the insurance payments included. It has knocked me out of the bracket to qualify for these benefits. Now I make just a tiny bit too much and lose all the benefits. My lawyer can't get those back for me. he was wrong for not understanding ODSP in the first place and he gave me WRONG information that fucked me.

I have no future. I have no hope. I am down and out and nobody sees me,....

I need to find a new home but I don't make enough to cover any rent. So I will be homeless once again,....

I am so devasted that my life means so little to so many. I went to bed right after I spoke to my lawyer. Becasue I knew it was all over. I knew I wasn't getting money,... I knew I wasn't getting a doctor,... I knew I was getting NOTHING.

I refuse to be homeless again. i refuse to live a life on benefits and charities. i refuse to live a life where I am alone and invisable.

It is time. I was waiting to see what would happen with the case. But now I know,... THERE IS NO CASE. There never was a case. I was just being strung along,.....

As usual Jacquie Rose Holyoak is worth NOTHING. And now I have nowhere to go,... i am alone - invisable - and will soon be  homeless.

I AM SO SORRY THAT I EVER CALLED A LAWYER 

And now all i can think about is dying.how to die,... when to die,... but I will die. I have had enough and being treated like an invisable nobody has taken it's toll.

I am not waiting for BC. I am going to take a taxi into Elora and jump into the gorge. I have completely had enough and can't go on. I just need to die and today that is going happen.

Say goodbye to the mentally ill monster - the welfare whore - the trailer trash - the absolute nobody that nobdoy wanted.

Say goodbye because that girl is done and no longer exists and is now dead.

FUCK YOU LAWYER,... Fuck you Doug Ford,.... Fuck You Wellingotn County and Fergus Ontario,.... Fuck you all,....

I am now DEAD