Thinking about gratitude

I feel like I'm never going to have a good sleep again. Yet another night I am up watching the box. I don't like to tax my brain too much with car chases or war movies in the peacefulness of the night. Instead I like to watch nature. It's relaxing. I get stoned and watch Youtube videos of places I would love to be. Tonight I am watching giant grizzlies fighting in Yellowstone. You can't help but admire the majestic beauty of these magnificent animals. I wished I live in the forests of BC. In a cabin with a big front porch. No need for tv when mother nature is your cable. One of my many regrets in life is that I had to live in cities and towns rather than the country. But I don't want to get hung up on regrets.

Instead I have been thinking a lot about gratitude. I know on here I dump a lot of my frustration at being poor. But thats just me dumping. And when I am angry I am angry at general things (the government,... the system,...) not individuals. Infact there are times when people I don't even know show up out of the woodwork and restore my faith in humanity. And they don't always have to be big things. Sometimes it's the little gestures that you appreciate the most and remember.

I have many stories like this but just as an example. 

A few years ago my coffee maker broke. I was at a place where money was extremely tight and I just couldn't afford to get a new one. It was my small 5 cup coffee maker I loved so much. I actually had a 12 cup coffee maker but I had lent it to Darren. He used it every week at his n/a group meeting. He needed a coffee maker,... I had one,.. I wasn't using it,... so I (thought I lent it) but I guess I gave it to him. When my little one broke - he stayed silent and never gave me back the big coffee maker leaving me without any. But out of the blue one of my blog subscribers (I think thats how he knew me it was so long ago now I forget) got in touch and then sent money for me to buy a new coffee maker. I'll never forget this random act of kindness. I don't know his situation but he was kind enough to send me money to buy a new coffee maker. Thats just a nice guy human being. And it is acts like this that remind me that even though in the larger picture my life is bad ~ there are people that care and remind you by helping you out with those little things.

He didn't have to do that. he doesn't even know me. But he did.

You have to feel gratitude in things like that. In a world where I feel invisable most of the time,... this reminds me that I am not. There are people that read this and care. I think thats why I refuse to give this blog up. Not only does it help me dump my frustrations,... it reminds me that there is an outside world I don't know about. And in that world people are kind. Thank you Dan,... (if I got your name wrong it's my memory and I'm sorry) but you restored my faith in humanity that day you reached out. It wasn't so much the coffee maker but that you cared to reach out and I thank you for that.

In my world you have to appreciate and have gratitude for the people that do care.