The Ontario Government sent me an email letting me know that I had a letter for me to read. So I go into my account and read the letter. It's ODSP wanting their money.
I actually laughed when I read it. These people - these Happy Shiny middle class people - have no fucking idea what life is like down here. And you have a lot of nerve giving us peanuts that barely allows us to breath and then hound us for debt?????
So let me be crystal clear ODSP. I don't have your money,.... I never will have your money,... so what happens now???? Do you garanshee my CPP so I make LESS tha $900 a month? Do you really think that pressuring people to pay money they don't have,... and never will,... is productive? It makes us suicidal with the presuure,...
Then this letter informed me to call this BRAD guy back - yeah the one who called the police on me? So I called this lady who sent the letter. Of course they never answer their phones. So I left a message telling her their "help" was cops and traumatizing and that I had had enough of their heavy handed approach to help and therefore I will NEVER be seeking help from them or ANYONE in this community ever again. I told them I would rather rot with NO CARE than have cops every time I ask for help.
Not 5 minutes later I got a very cold email. It was worded very carefully for legal purposes so they only want to cover their ass from being sued. It was very cold and to the point - letting me know thats your choice but we do have help if you need it but if you wont reach out we cant give it to you. (They dont have help - they think they do but its not what I need) i need a DOCTOR!!!! not paramedic services once a week which is what they offer me.
So they say their IS help but it's my fault I wont get it. She actually ended the email help is there if you need it. Patronizing,....
I was so angry,.... Well they covered their asses ~ their good so they can move on and say they did their job! By tonight they will have forgotten that I even exist.
Life moved on and I am again invisable. No reaching out to say we can work with you without homewood,.... nope,... she basically said your choice bitch,... so stay a recluse with no help then your choice. They are making it sound like it's MY FAULT and MY CHOICE.
Blame the poor for being poor,... when you traumatize us with your help you cry "they wont accept help"
It's all bullshit. red tape beuracracy and protect only themselves. They don't want to help. They want to follow the steps they are suppose to follow and if we don't agree then its out fault we won't accept help.
Just another reason to kill myself. You can't win with this society when your mentally ill. Your not a person,... your an illness. And if you wont get mental health help then we cant and WON'T give you physical health care. it's almost like they won't be happy until I am thrown in HOMEWOOD. Why is everyone so obssessed with fucking homewood?????
I feel trapped and bullied by this beuracracy. Just give me a fucking doctor without homewood!!!!! It's not that hard. but nope,... I am only a mentally ill monster and that is all anybody sees. An illness.
just another reason to kill myself. I am NEVER getting a doctor,...
and apparently now it's my own fault
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