I have never been in so much emotional pain. Please help me

I have woken up in despair. The walls of the world are closing in around me and I am starting to panic.

I have no words today,.... just sadness.

The last 5 years have completely changed me. 

And now I am not a person I want to be.

I am tired,... and I need help. Will someone please help me to die????? I need fentanyl but I can't find any. I need someones help to get it. I am going to kill myself regardless. I have a rope hanging on my bedroom door as I write this just waiting for me to use it. But I don't want to hang myself. I want to die peacefully.

I have lived a life of misery for the past 5 years and there is no help coming.

PLEASE,.... PLEASE can someone reach out and help me DIE.

I am so desperate I am risking going to prison to end my life.

I am hoping there is ONE empathetic soul out there who understands my pain and understands that it is never going away and I'm never getting the help I need. I need someone who understands  that death is PEACE.

I need help. PLEASE,... PLEASE,.... can someone help me