I left social media awhile ago. I was finding that my skin wasn't tough enough for the nasty comments I was getting. But every few months I will pop back onto Facebook just to catch up. I don't engage in anything,... I just take a quick peek to catch up.
I know better than to do this. I have accidently come across a post from my daughters boyfriends timeline. Hayley taking my granddaughter out skating. Their father is RICH and they have an ice rink on their large property. A pond covered in ice. And here they all were having a great time skating. My family that doesn't want me were all out on the pond skating. And my granddaughter that I have never met was there.
Of course I didn't want to see that but there it was. I opened all the pictures to see them. And started to cry.
There is no lonlier feeling in the world than watching your family celebrate without you.
I am heartbroken and I just plummet back down into depression.
What kind of life is this?
All I can say is I have given up completely. I just dont' care anymore.
Infact I hope I have a massive heart attack and die. Let's play Russian Roulette with our health. Will it be a heart attack or a stroke??? Anyone want to take bets????
Lets all go for the heart attack. Gone,.... now nobody has to feel left out from anything becasue I will be gone. Dead. no longer a problem to anyone,....
I hate my life,... I'm so tired,... I just want to be dead
Why won't someone help me die????? I tried MAiDS,... I tried the legal proper channels,... but no help,... no dignified death there. Just dumped,... so now I need to do it myself.
To get away from Tonya,....
To get away from poverty,...
To get away from this relentless pain,...
To get away from being the horrible monster my family don't want,...
I have to get away from it all,...
I just need fentanyl,...
WHY can't someone help me???
NOONE CARES that I am struggling but they DO CARE that i end my life.
Your all a bunch of sadists to watch but not help,...
I hate this world and I just need to die
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