Well obviously my life is at the end. I can't continue on this way,... it's ridiculous living in so much pain.

So heres a thought. Maybe I should make my exit Ironic,...

What if I go out to the street out here infront of my building and I stand right where I got hit the first time and was damamged beyond hope,....

Only this time I will wait for a fucking truck. And I will calmly walk right out infront of it. Only this time,... if God wants me to get hit by a vehicle - I will do it RIGHT this time.

Maybe THIS is what I need to do,...

Becasue I am in way,... way too much pain to continue living,...

Maybe the answer is a TRUCK quick and painless and I get my fucking pont across - if your going to ruin my life by running me over then for gods sake do it properly and atleast KILL ME THIS TIME