I have got to get this off of my chest. I came back to rumour after rumour after rumour about what happened to me in BC. Can you believe that the people in this building say they know what happened to me in BC and that I am lying about the whole thing. First of all,... why would I lie? Second of all,... these people never leave Fergus. A woman here - Phyllis - says she has relatives in BC and they told her everything,... really? You happen to have relatives that live in Crofton BC on Vancouver Island? Yeah,... anyway she spread God knows what about me in BC. She also stood in the lobby and shouted at me for 15 minutes about how no one likes me,... no one wants me back in the building,... they even protested to housing to get me banned. Well the jokes on Phyllis. Because as she stood there in front of 5 other people and lied and put me down and accused me of stuff from 6 and 7 years ago!! She had no idea I was standing next to a social worker that works for Ontario Housing. Phyllis thought I was just with a friend. And this woman from housing knew I was being bullied so she said nothing and let Phyllis rant. When she was done I said "Well I like you Phyllis - so if you don't like me - that's a problem of yours not mine" and I walked out of the lobby and into the common room where I was having this meeting with this social worker from housing. The worker saw everything. Everything I said I was being bullied about?? Phyllis just proved to her I was. I had gone up to Phyllis to say hello and to see how she was doing as she had just been diagnosed with Parkinson's. I was being nice!! So the worker saw me trying to be friendly and then she saw Phyllis turn on me and shout lies for a good 5 minutes while we listened. I tried to reason with her by asking how on earth she could possibly know what my life was like in BC but she kept saying I have relatives I know,.... (?????). I ended up crying because it was just so upsetting. But I was also glad it finally happened in front of housing. Phyllis still doesn't realize it was housing with me and they saw it all.
Housing acknowledged she was wrong,... she was rude,... and she was vicious. Finally proof of the lying and bullying,...
So,... to all the people who are 'assuming' or 'listening to gossip' or just plain think they know better than me? I am going to say what happened that first week in BC just to clear the air and get rid of all the rumours, gossip and lies. How could a 90 year old sour puss woman in Fergus know better than me what happened??? to me???
But once I write this once,... I am never going to talk about that first week in BC ever again. I am going to set the record strait with the truth,... and then I move on. If others want to keep talking, that's their business and I can't stop them. But I will tell the truth just this once to finally clear the air.
There are five people who know EXACTLY what happened in that first week. Me,.. my two cousins and the two police officers that got involved. Anyone else is just guessing or assuming but they do not know the truth.
My red flags:
My first red flag was when I arrived at Nanaimo airport and Dianne wasn't there. I phoned her and she had fallen asleep. It was after midnight and the airport was basically closing. So everyone was gone except me - sitting in the front with all my luggage - waiting. It was half an hour before she came. I let it go as that could happen to any one of us. Just a mistake.
My second red flag was pulling up to her house and seeing a for sale sign up. Her house,... this B&B,... was up for sale!! Now I was tired and didn't' want to get into anything. I figured there was an innocent reason for that and she would tell me later. What I heard her tell me when I was still in Ontario before leaving, was "her mothers house is up for sale" she never once said MY house was up for sale. Turns out this house used to be her MOMs and she bought it. So she was deliberately throwing me off the 'for sale' scent by telling me 'My mothers house is up for sale" I really did think they were two separate properties. I was just that tired and wanted sleep. so I let that go too.
The third red flag was how she treated her brother. For the first 3 days she treated me like a princess. She was charming. But her brother could do NOTHING right. He didn't even live there. He came for a week or two at a time just to work for her around the property. And he did ALL the work as far as I could see. I never really did see HER do anything. Her brother did it all. However,... he couldn't do it right and she was forever ranting about how awful her brother was. I had only been there a few days but even I could see that the problem was not Tom,... it was her. Tom to me was/is a lovely soft spoken kind man. But Dianne totally controls him. I felt embarrassed of how she treated him around me. Because I knew it embarrassed him. But he is so kind and non-confrontational that he just lives with it. But I could see that she uses him for what she needs ($$$ included) but then is never happy with him. (or her own mother I found out later - not even she could do right)
Those were 3 subtle things that I let go.
But what happened next is what made me wonder if I had a made a mistake.
Dianne, Tom and her Mom were driving into Victoria for the day trying to secure a second mortgage on this property. I was originally suppose to go with them. But during the night my fibro flared up and I was in a lot of pain and I knew I couldn't do the car journey to Victoria as it would be too painful. I didn't think it was a big deal. She knew I had fibromyalgia and I had told her these things would happen that I would have to back out of things here and there due to pain. So at 3:30 in the morning, instead of waking her up to tell her, I left her a note.
She was furious!! "We don't leave notes in this house!!!" (??) So I told her that's how I do things in my life. I leave notes if I can't speak to someone in person. She was still furious. But that isn't even what let me see what she is really like. Its when they came back that I saw real fury. While they were gone, I got up and cleaned. I dusted,... I vacuumed,... I did dishes,... I just cleaned and cleaned until that Livingroom and kitchen were spotless. I didn't want accolades. I just have OCD and enjoy cleaning. So what I did was what I always do. I turn on a football game ( a bit loud as I am cleaning all over) and I cleaned. When they got back home I happened to not be in the Livingroom but in the kitchen instead. Dianne came in - furious - and turned off the tv,... slammed the drapes all shut,... slammed the door shut,... and shouted at me for the next 10 minutes. "WE don't' watch tv in the day in this house,... it heats up the Livingroom. We don't open the curtains in this house because it heats up the house. We don't have the door open in this house because,.." and she went on and on and on. She didn't even say hello. She just stormed in like the Tasmanian devil - spinning with rage. She was just furious and started ranting and raging. And this was very typical I learned of her behaviour. Very, very controlling. Very angry. I had spent 3 hours cleaning HER HOUSE and all she could do was yell at what I did wrong - I had the tv on and the curtains open. And here's a new one. We don't do dishes by hand. I can taste the dish soap. She was mad I did the dishes instead of using the dishwasher. (??) That was when I knew she had a serious rage problem. I felt like a scolded child and skulked off to my bedroom. I didn't know what else to do. As the longer I stood there,... the angrier she got. She switched to "we had all these stops planned for you and your FIBRO (which she said mockingly) but no - you can't appreciate that and leave me a fucking note. That was rude. (????) She just could not let it go. And then she switched over to ranting about Tom.
Then I asked to see the trailer I was suppose to move into. It had been 4 days and no one had even mentioned it. I had asked to see it once before but they didn't have the time (??) It was uninhabitable. It wasn't even winterized so it was only for summer. But she was expecting me to live in it year round. But it was when she opened the door and we went inside that I knew it was all a big mistake. There were not dozens, not hundreds, but THOUSANDS of rat and mouse droppings infested throughout the trailer. You couldn't step anywhere without stepping in rodent shit. The rodents had eaten everything. It was a dive. There was no way I was ever going to be happy in that. But I tried to be gracious. I looked up infestation and learned that you have to have an exterminator do a job this big as disturbing the droppings by sweeping causes a dust that causes a serious illness. So i approached Dianne and said could I look into an exterminator and she blew up. No fucking way was she paying anyone any money when she could just do it herself with a shop vac. I researched this and it was recommended NOT to sweep or vacuum as it would cause this dust. I said I would pay for it but she wasn't having it. My health meant nothing to her. She practically called me a princess and my standards were just to "Ontario" high. In BC we live differently and you'll just have to get used to it. I let it go with her at that moment as she was raging again and I was actually quite uncomfortable. ,... but I knew I would never live in that trailer.
So over the next evening it bothered me. I just could not get this uninhabitable trailer out of my mind. Again,... I didn't' want confrontation (which I knew I would get face to face with her) so I tried to write it in a note. Saying I couldn't' live in that trailer. Again she was furious about the note. (She had a real hate for notes???) She couldn't understand that at this point I was afraid of her and her anger and rage and I didn't' want to discuss this with her face to face. I wanted her to know I couldn't' live in there and then when things calmed down we would talk about it. But she flew into my room in a rage and let me have it for one the note (WE don't' leave notes in this house,...) and second because I wasn't happy with the trailer.
Now, you have to remember that in my mind, this is a B&B - her business. And she needs all 3 of her rooms for B&B paying guests. I, trying to be understanding about this said "I realize this is your business and you need the room I'm in for paying guests" What I didn't know at this point was - there were no paying guests - ever. I was told later by other people that only 1 or 2 people ever stayed in that so called B&B. So i was trying to be understanding by saying I'll find another place to live (although still sticking around to help her = just not live there) but she was furious at that too. What I failed to know at this point was without this home being a proper B&B she in her mind thought why are you leaving me?? I could have given you any bedroom!! What??? I thought this was your bread and butter and needed all the rooms??? Nothing ever seemed on the up and up with her. You were always guessing at what was going on. If she had been strait with me,... I would have gladly taken one of the (B&B) bedrooms. But I thought they were going to be booked any day.
About this B&B. I should have looked this place up on line before I made the decision to leave Ontario. Because if I had, I would have seen it's not real. There is no proper website. (It's still being designed) There is nothing anywhere about this B&B she has supposedly be running for years (except during covid) and she lied saying she makes $6000 to $8000 a month - easy. I believed every charming word that came out of her mouth. She had me believing this was a really lucrative business that could only grow bigger and better. So I got excited and had all these ideas we could do. Make blackberry jam,.. design a blackberry candle (there was a place in town to do this) I had idea after idea but she never had the time to sit down and listen. Now I know why,... there never was an active B&B. I found out later from other people it was all a pipe dream in her head. She lied saying she ran one in Alberta too. No one in BC has ever heard of another B&B she supposedly ran.
She had a business card that made her look like a very successful business woman. It made her sound like she had her hand in many different things. But once I got there, the only thing I ever say her do was drink beer and smoke weed and sit. And if she wasn't doing that,... she was raging at something me or Tom did wrong. It got so her brother and I would go sit on the deck and look at each other like 'lets just hide out here for a minute' But loyal Tom wouldn't hear a bad word about her.
But the showdown came, when I confronted her about the trailer and wanted it properly exterminated. She wouldn't even listen and refused to allow me to call anyone. When we had words and an argument and things escalated I went to my room angry and I slammed the door. THAT turned her into a raving lunatic. She came RUNNING after me and threatened me with assault. You could see her anger was so out of control she had seen red and couldn't stop. She threatened me saying "you slam that door one more time and there's going to be an assault charge" and that's when I knew to leave. And I did. I left almost everything I owned behind and just ran with what I could take on my walker. She started yelling she was suicidal and I had ruined her life and when I said I had no idea she was suicidal as I would never have come had I known, as I myself was trying to heal and did not need to be living with someone who was screaming she was suicidal. I told her I didn't' know that,... and she screamed "How could you not??? How could anyone not see she was suicidal?" and that's when I got the fuck out of there. She at this moment was not stable ~ or safe.
Later I learned I am the 3rd person she has done this too. The one person (Kenny) only lasted a week like I did. But the second person lasted a year. But he left saying he was "broken" and he needed a lot of healing to get over her "tyrancy" and rages and just being treated like a child who couldn't do anything right. They said she has no friends,... because her behaviour has them running. The only people left in her life are her mother and brother and she treats both of them like shit. I was told I had a narrow escape getting out when I did. But Dianne told everyone - including my family back at home - that I just didn't like it there. It wasn't good enough for me and I just left. That is the furthest from the truth. I ran,... I ran as fast and as far as I could to get away from her tyrancy. That woman literally scared me. And I told her that. I told her I can't talk to her because she just rages and scares me. She is very much like my old friend Darren who I ended our friendship for his raging that scared me.
Later the policeman and I went back there. I knew she would be in Alberta but I thought her brother Tom would be there. So the police and I went to collect my belongings I had left behind. No one was home (or no one answered) so I took the liberty of showing the policeman the trailer. He said "no- this is not livable and she had no right to offer you this as a home" I asked if I was just being 'princess' having lived in a house all my life. But he agreed that no - this trailer was a piece of trash and no one should be forced to live in it. When I told him about the house up for sale and we tried to figure why she would have invited me to live here. It was him who figured it out saying they were getting a second mortgage so what do you bet my rent was to pay for that second mortgage. But here's the thing I asked Dianne.
"What happens if you don't get that second mortgage and the house gets sold" She laughed and said "don't worry,... I'll buy a nice trailer and you can live with me in that" So she knew that we could have both ended up homeless but she neglected to make me aware of this before I sold everything I owned and moved there. I was under the understanding this was permanent and a lucrative business opportunity. In the end it was all a pipe dream in that woman's head. The rooms weren't even finished yet. The two in the basement hadn't even been separated into two rooms so obviously they had never ever been used.
There was no Blackberry Bunch B&B" It was nothing but a dream.
So up until this point I had done NOTHING WRONG and was dupped. I was used for my rent money to save a sinking ship. I was never told this ship was sinking. I was given the charming - I mean this woman could charm the birds out of the trees - but it's all just talk. She smoked weed all day long and drank beer.
She was suppose to be my cousins best friend growing up. But I had not spoken with my cousin in years. And I mean since 1972. And now, people don't have landlines so you can look them up and call them. So I didn't call my cousin to verify anything. Because if I had,... she said she would have told me to never come. She would have told me the truth. Dianne is a user and she's lazy and she gets everyone else to do the work while she runs around in a tizzy making imaginary problems. They say she is not happy unless she is not happy and has something to rage about.
Everyone said the same thing. That woman is severely mentally ill and needs to be on medication. But she doesn't believe there is anything wrong with her. It's always everyone else.
My two cousins were very reluctant to even get involved as they say she is a vindictive and revengeful person and they are actually afraid she will do something to retaliate if they stepped in and got involved helping me to leave. My two cousins know exactly what she is like as they grew up with her. And,... the second person to be used and broken by her was my cousin. He took a long time to heal and feel confidant about himself once again as she totally broke him down and made him feel like a naughty child. He did a lot for her and a lot of the time he didn't even get paid. HE was the one who came looking for me in the homeless encampment in Duncan. They (my 2 cousins) felt so bad that I had been treated badly by Dianne that they had to come and literally rescue me. They knew everything I had gone through as they had gone through it with her at some point too.
Dianne can be very, very charming. I fell for it hook, line and sinker. So I'm sure she was very charming and persuasive when she turned my family against me saying I was just being a princess and couldn't' hack trailer living. "I would have gladly given her one of my rooms" What a joke.
So in the end,.. I know five people know this truth. Me, my two cousins and the 2 cops involved. And I don't care what the rest of the world has heard or assumes or lies about. I KNOW THE TRUTH. My cousins know the truth and the two cops know the truth and that is good enough for me.
If my family or this building (why is this building even involved in my BC trip???) wants to believe Dianne or anyone else ~ I have no control over that. So I just move on. As long as there are people who know the truth - I can live with that.
So now that I have told it - I never want to talk about Dianne or that week with her - EVER AGAIN.
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Now,... having said the truth and why I left,... now I can get into how this is where I lost my grace and lost my way,... and the rest I admit was a shit show on my behalf. I was homeless and scared. I am mentally ill and not medicated. So navigating homelessness was traumatizing for me. And because of this,... I lost my way and did some things that I am not proud of and wish I could take back. But up until this point - nothing I did was my fault. As the cop put it,...'I'm sorry love I think she deceived you by not disclosing the truth to you before you came. That was wrong of her. You were basically scammed for her to get $750 of your rent. Because no one should have to live in that trailer" I had done nothing wrong but trust someone who kept the truth from me. Obviously if I had known the house was up for sale, I never would have left Ontario. And she knew this,... and that's why she said her MOMS house was up for sale.
It wasn't until I found myself living in a homeless encampment with thousands of other homeless did the reality of my situation sink in. And I became terrified. Overwhelmed. Panicked. I had no internet. I had no one I knew to talk to. I was alone in a strange province with a thousand drug abusers. And that was the shelter!!!! You should have seen the streets themselves. It was rough. It was real,... and it was very scary. I was a whiter than white innocent walking around (sober) pulling a carryon behind my walker. I looked so out of place. And as I later found out ~ a target. I won't go into those days as they were not nice. That's all I'm going to admit. It was horrible.
But in this darkness - I lost my grace. And I did things out of desperation that scared people. I was so desperate for help that I was begging,... and when no one could help I started to lose my faith. My hope. And I very quickly sunk into a desperate depression. I posted things on Facebook I shouldn't have that scared the ones in Ontario that cared for me. I was so desperate and so suicidal from living outside that I threatened fentanyl if I couldn't' escape this life. I seriously meant it at the time because death really was much more humane than the situation I was in. But scaring people to death with the threat of suicide did not go over well. I was way too sick to see that. I was way too desperate to see anything but my fear. And in being so alone and scared I fucked up. And this is where I lost all my friends and family back home. Not all of them as I have since apologized to a handful so we are still good. But I did lose a lot of others. And all I can say to defend myself is ~ I was too sick to think rationally. Mentally ill people don't always think rationally in the best of situations. But being in this hopeless one just made me sicker. I'm not saying it was ok as it wasn't. But I was too desperate and alone to see that. So I own this behaviour and I apologize to everyone I scared. I know it doesn't make it right,... but at least I see it now and can own it and hopefully get some help to get better.
And this is the very last time I will be writing about any of this. It was just too traumatizing and upsetting to even think about. So I am drawing a line under it and only moving forward. The gossips in this building can say whatever they like. They are fools for thinking they know what happened in BC better than I do when none of them have even left this compound. Just lies, gossip and assumptions designed to hurt me. I care about my family and friends I hurt. But I don't' care one bit about the people in this building who foolishly believe they know better than I do about my life. How the hell would Phyllis know anything about BC? She doesn't. She is all mouth and gossip and just a nasty human being. And therefore I don't care what is said in this building. I care about friends and family - but not the liars and gossips who do nothing but try and hurt people in this building. I lived with it for 8 years and now I have changed. Nothing they say can hurt me because I just look at where it is coming from. The gossipy gargoyles of my building.
And now I move forward. Leaving behind this low period in my life. I will never talk about this experience ever again.
