Wishing for another pet

I was sitting here looking out my window out on to this grey and dreary day. I was thinking of all the things that I used to have in my life that made me happy. My passions I guess you could call them. Things that kept me motivated. And I did have a handful of things I loved that kept me more or less happy or content. 

These things were, and I'm not listing the obvious that would be at the top ~ my family. After this,.. writing, football, (soccer), ancestry research, animals, , being on the back of a motorcycle, hiking,... but generally being OUT of the city and in the country enjoying nature. Unfortuanately hard times have taken these things from me. 

But sitting here in my deep depression I couldn't help thinking if there was something,... anything,... that I could do for free. But all of these things are out of my budget.

I realized that about the only thing I have that I cherish now is Maggie my cat. One of the passions in my life is animals. I grew up with a dog in my childhood home. A collie named Brandy. Having only brothers I treated that dog like a sister. We had her for many years. She instilled in me my deep love and respect of animals. After I married, we got two shelties ~ Paisley and Amber. They became my life. My ex was never home and before we had children those dogs saved my sanity. (hmmm again theres that theme - so I was alone,...) We lost them just before our divorce. After that I ended up with cats. Kiara,... Colonel Stud Muffin,... and now Maggie  (Margaret Mary O'Riley).

And as I thought about I realized that I spent a lot of time with animals over my life and not with people. I respect animals. They treat you with nothing but love - no matter what. I have long conversations with my pets. I'm sure they havent' a clue what I'm on about but they were always there. Animals have been my saviour when people let me down. 

If I'm at a gathering somewhere and you can't find me, then look for the family pet. I'm probobly hiding out with them away from everyone. Animals love me - mentally ill monster or not. They don't see my mental illness. None of my pets ever have. They have just loyally loved me until their last breath. 

I would love to get another dog but I can't. I'm not financially stable enough for a pet right now. They cost money. A dog much more than a cat. I also don't think it's fair to have a dog in an apartment unless you plan on taking out multiple times a day. My health won't allow that. A dog needs outside. I can't provide that. Buying a dog is 20 year committment that I can't promise right now. So it just wouldn't be fair to bring a dog into my life. Although I know it would give me purpose,... it wouldn't solve my problems. 

But man,... do I ever long to be around animals once again. They get me,... people don't,...

Amber, Michelle and Paisley at Grandma & Granpa Muench's

Maggie (Margaret Mary O'Riley)