On my last legs,... just can't go on

 

I cannot tell you how depressed I am today. I see no future whatsoever. Look at this picture. It is my livingroom. This is where I spend about 18 hours a day. Sitting in that chair watching tv. It is the most depressing room to be in. And today with the weather being so overcast, it just makes it all the more morose. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life in that chair? You can't go anywhere,... and you can't do anything,... you are sentenced to sit in this room until you die.

There is not one Christmas item at all. It is bare. It is clean,... but it is bare and uninviting and honestly I dread waking up every morning just to know I have to sit in that chair and rot for the rest of the day. No money to go out,... Just sit and rot.

Can you imagine living here and never going out? Can you imagine not celebrating Christmas? Can you imagine never seeing anybody or talking to anybody? Just alone - a recluse - hibernating away becasue society doenst want me.

I hate my life. I just want to die. I am so fucking depressed and despondant today I just can't bear it