I have my grocery order made. It is apparent that I am not going to get out to get them myself so I made another delivery order from Walmart. Because of the high delivery charge (high for ME anyway) I only order groceries once a month. Now because I will NOT be celebrating Christmas,... I spent about an extra $50 on treats. Bacon, meat, chocolate, muffins,... things I don't normally buy. Merry Christmas to me. Because I don't normally eat these things it will be a treat. And because I don't eat a lot at one time, I can make these things last. I'm learning to freeze things now. I never used to buy bakery goods as living alone I had to eat the whole package or it went stale. But now I freeze things like muffins, etc,... I wish I hadn't given back that freezer I was given. (At the time I thought I was being evicted so gave it back to the person who bought it for me). I only have one small freezer, But I make do. I take everything out of the packaging so I can fit in a lot more. 

I don't plan on doing anything else for the holidays. I have no decorations anymore. So there is nothing Christmas'y in this apartment. But thats alright as I would just see them as a reminder of what I am missing. If I don't see Christmas ~ I can pretend it's not there. So no tree,.. decorations or gifts. But I thought I would at least get some treats in the way of groceries.

So even though my monthly total is higher,... I dont' care. I'm not going to feel guilty about a few chocolate bars and some muffins. 

I have shingles again. I have been annoyed with the itch for a few days now. But theres no point in going to the walkin. In this weather I couldn't get there anyway. But even if I did,... without ODSP I have to pay for my medication now. I would rather just deal with the itch and pain than waste money on prescriptions. But it has been uncomfortable for sleeping. The itch is mainly on my back and I can't reach it to scratch so at times I feel like I'm going mad with it. I don't know what is up with me as this is the 4th time I have had shingles in three years. 

It's not even ten o'clock yet and I am bored. I plan a "All Creatures Great and Small" marathon today. I'll follow James Herriot across the Yorkshire dales as he tends to the annimals. I loved these books as a child. I watched the first series way back in the 1970's and now I am enjoying the present series. I love animals,... and the country,... and England,.... so it's the perfect show for a cold December day. I will cuddle up with a blanket and Maggie and transport myself to the past,... a time I love much more than the complicated present.

So,... roll on James Herriott

*** PS. Just at the last minute my cousin, one of my handful of angels, contacted me and is paying for my December grocery order. Again I am blown away by the kindness of people who are willing to part with their own hard earned money to help others in need. Thank you to L,.... you have saved me more than a few time,... and it doesn't go unnoticed ***