This is so typical of my life.

I booked the hotel and took a taxi all the way into Guelph. I go to check into the hotel and guess what? My debit/credit card was not accepted.

They only accept credit cards. I don't own a credit card. So now I am not even allowed to stay in a hotel or fly to Vancouver becasue I don't own a credit card. I asked to pay cash but they said no. They don't take cash????

I had the whole fucking thing planned. And now - I can't go. I paid $110 (round trip) for the taxi to Guelph. Only to be told I can't check in. WHY WOULD THEY NOT PHONE ME YESTERDAY when I made the booking???? I had already taken the taxi into Guelph when the text came through the booking was cancelled due to no credit card.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry

I can't even die!!!!

I guess I keep trying to book until a hotel excepts my card and I can finally go to find fentanyl and purposely overdose and die.

Nothing is ever easy for me. But I will not give up. If I have to be homeless downtown Toronto to get my fentanyl I will. I sure would fit right in won't I? I have "welfare whore" written all over me. I will blend in to the homeless seamlessly.

I am not giving up though. Pain out-weighs doing nothing. This pain has gotten worse over time - not better - and the only answer is death. So I will not give up until I can get that damn fentanyl so I can overdose and find some peace.

My plans were slowed down today - not stopped.

I refuse to live in pain and poverty - I've done it as long as I can take but now it's time to die.