Comments

 I usually only get positive comments on this blog. It isn't your typical blog because I don't write it for others to view. I only started it on a blog site because I had no word program on my computer. I just used it for convenience. It was just a place to write. I didn't expect anyone to read it. But over the past 15 years or so I guess people found it. But it has mostly been other folks with mental illness. ALL of them have been kind and sympathetic because they too go through a lot of what I do. So I unintentionally found myself with a small handful of followers. It wasn't until Tonya Halls found this blog that all hell broke loose and it ended up being ruined. But I didn't let her win. I write on here anyway. If she chooses to use something on here to hurt me like she has in the past ~ that's HER issue. Not mine. She needs help because of her stalking. There is literally nothing I can do to prevent her form reading this. But I can hold my head up high knowing TONYA is the low life scum who uses this to abuse me. So SHE is the one who needs help. I just try and ignore her now and pretend she doesn't exist and I keep on writing. But this is the time when the blog became too big. Now strangers were reading it. Not other mental health sufferers,... just normal people. And still it was ok. I got a few nasty comments over the past few years but generally it has all been good sympathetic folk. Onesmallvoiceamoungmany has been a lovely person and comments every once in awhile with sympathy and encouragement. Thank you onesmallvoiceamoungmany. Some days your comments keep me going,...

Last blog entry I showed you a comment from someone. After I wrote the entry hhe commented again. It's only fair I put that in here:

I am sorry I wasn't clear. Blood pressure goes up when in pain of course. I didn't mean pain was because of blood pressure. I will try to be more clear. Anybody that goes to the walkin or ER for pain falls under a protocol. This is the world we are in now. When it is discovered, by your own admission, that you refuse blood pressure medication, you will be flagged as a drug seeker and unable to follow drs orders. That is the reality. It was not my intention to upset you. You say nobody will help. That could be a piece of the puzzle. That is all.

To me he just made it worse. Now he is saying it is futile to even bother trying to get help. Apparently I am blacklisted??? A drug seeker??? whatever dude,.... you hasd your say. YOU ARE WRONG,... but I thought it only fair to put your two cents in here.

The weather is suppose to be good today. maybe I should do it today. I am so desperate and spiralling I won't make it until May. It needs to be done now. Today looks like it might be the day. Book that plane ticket and hotel and get this fucking show started. I have had it.

I am in so much pain today I can't brush my hair,... cook,... have a shower,... I am suffering and I refuse to suffer any longer.

Roll on vacation I never return from,..... I've already started packing

bye bye,... you all had your chance ~ but instead I got blamed. And according to this Tam - I am blacklisted and never getting help anyway.

So it's time

See you on the other side

Lets see how long it takes before anyone realizes I am gone,....