I am moving 4353 kilometers. From Fergus Ontario to Crofton British Columbia. And I can't wait.
I have been saying now for five years that I am suffocating here. I am not in my right enviroment. I knew if I could move out of this building and this town I might stand a chance. Everything about living here feels wrong to me. I don't feel like I belong. I am miserable.
So when Dianne contacted me with this offer to help me move to BC, I was almost afraid to hope. This was just going to be another promise that falls through. But as we chatted more and more, we realized that we could be helping each other out. She has a fifth wheel (thats an RV to us Ontario folk) that she is going to rent to me. She knows I am struggling so we agreed on a rent that suited us both.
But here is the absolute beauty of this move. She is by the ocean. Infact,... she said I can look out over the ocean while I make my coffee. That is a luxury I have never had and will enjoy. There will be water everywhere. There will be so much nature to THRIVE off of that I won't even need tv anymore. (I am so sick of watching tv!) I don't even know if she has internet there and I dont' care. I will be in BC - by the ocean - enjoying life!!!
I emailed my lawyer again asking when i can go. I'm sure he wants me to stay in Ontario for this case so I need him to let me know when I can make plans to move. I think I would like to be there for June or July.
I am not bringing anything but the clothes I wear and my devices. All else can be bought once i get there. The rv is furnished so I wont need furniture. I may put some things aside to ship out later. But for now,... I can't wait to get the hell out of Ontario. I am making all the plans.
Only 2 things will make me sad. I have to put Maggie down. She is too old to bring with me. She wouldn't survive the plane ride. And at 18 years old she is ready. Old and creaky just like me. I joke that we are the 'two old ladies'. This will break my heart but it is the kindest thing for her.
And of course, I am leaving my children behind and the granddaughter that I have never even met. It's not like I am moving to Ontario where they can visit if things change in our relationship. Now we are four thousand kilometers apart. It's a five hour plane ride now if they want to see me. The liklehood of that is not promising. So I will probobly never see my children again.
But,... I cannot dwell if I want to move forward. I have to think of the positives. I have been saved. I have been given another chance at life. I need to hold on to that with both hands and take it. I am shrivelling up and dying inside here - I am not surviving.
I need this change to survive.
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| Crofton, Vancouver island, BC Paradise |
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