Not even football can save me now

My brand new livingroom

I have now finished re-furnishing my apartment. In the end it cost me $7000.00. And I don't even like it. I guess it looks ok if your someone who is just walking in and seeing it for the first time and not knowing the back story. It's cheap stuff. Walmart and Amazon Prime. But it's functionable. But to me,... it's not home. I feel like I am in an AirB&B or something. It's ok,... but nothing says "me". There are no personal pictures. When your family hates you,... looking at their picture all day just hurts your heart. So theres nothing 'personal' anymore. It's plain and functional. But it's not "me". I miss all my old stuff,...

I have been very depressed ever since the Mark episode. I don't want to see or talk to anyone anymore. So I stay in my unit - bored out of my mind - and just do nothing all day. I feel completely drained. I have nothing left in me to care anymore,...

My British Premier League started back up two weekends ago. Normally,... season opener for the EPL is something I look forward to like it's my birthday or something. Football is my passion and Manchester United are my team. But I have been so depressed that this year I didn't even enjoy it. Opening game came and went and I barely even watched it. Yesterday, their second day,... again couldn't get into it,...

Life has beaten me down so much over the past few years that I don't have anything left to go on. I knew that if the day came when I didn't even bother with football anymore ~ my life was over. Football is my last passion and now I barely even care about that,...

What good is a home ~ if you have no family or friends?

What good is a passion ~ if you have noone to share it with?

What good is a life ~ if your alone and in pain all the time?

I have given up. Not even football can save me now,....