I can't escape his hate

There is no trace of the heatwave left today. It is foggy and gray and overcast. A damp and heavy cloud sits over everything. I went outside of my unit twice today. The first time i went out tothe garbage room and before I even got to that end of the hall I could hear Darren raging inside his apartment. "Do your fucking job! I fucking paid for you so do your fucking job!!!" He is usually talking about his phone, tv, or computer when he rages like this. But it's loud enough that I can hear him 7 doors down,.... he just lets go and hollars as loud as he can. I just shook my head and went back to my apartment. Same shit,... different day,...

The second time I left my unit I went down to get mail. I even checked the hall to see if it was quiet. It was so I made my escape. I didn't get to the elevator before Darren came out of his unit. I froze. I just don't trust this guy. He glared at me with such hate that if looks could kill I would be dead. You could see him reciting "I fucking hate you,..." over and over again as his eyes glared angrily at me. The reason he scares me so much is - it's been 2 YEARS since we had our fall out. When I fall out with people,... we have a fight and we either give each other space and then make up and move on,...or we fall out and I just move on without them. Biut in both cases IT'S OVER. It's done and over!!! But Darren can't get rid of his hate for me. He just does not know how to let it go. We have NOT SPOKEN in well over 2 years,... so what is he so damn mad and hateful about?? This man can hold a grudge for the King,.... and the reason I can't stay here is he will never let this grudge go and I will always have to have these hatefull, uncomfortable 'run-ins' with him. And then this week - he sicked his friend onto me. Again - I haven't spoken to in over 2 years so what the hell are they so damn upset about. 

All because I dare to go into the gazebo if they are already in there. I should KNOW BETTER. And the reason he shouted for me not being allowed to go in there? Darren can't control his anger so he has to leave,... thats not fair on him. (What!??) What does it say about a guy that can't control his hate for a woman twice his age that he had a fight with 2 years ago,... stupid,... dumb,... LET IT GO!!!!!  Well I don't want anything to do with either one of those guys. So I ran back up to my unit and this is where I stay. Hidden and isolated but safe from the hate.

There is no way I can stay in this building. And I will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to disappear,....