I have been trying to send this broken laptop back to Amazon. But between pain (just not feeling well enough to do all that walking) or weather has prevented me from getting anything done. How I wish I had a car and driver at my disposal for just one day. I could get everything that is on my long list done all at once. But since I don't have a car or someone to drive me around, I have to walk everywhere. I am turning 62 in a week and I just can't do all this walking anymore.
But I have no choice today. Rain or not,... I have to get this laptop sent back. I have to walk to the library and print out the label and then walk to the post office to drop it off. I also have to go to a good sports store (the one here in Fergus is at the other end of town!) to buy a new winter coat. Living in Canada where it can get to minus 20 in the winter ~ you NEED to invest in a good warm coat as without a car I walk everywhere. I also need boots, a hat,... gloves,... everything. The list of things I gave away and need back is endless,...
So today I MUST get out. It is suppose to rain. So I will be walking over 10 kilometeres in the rain with my walker just to get shit done.
So fucking tired of the struggle,....
When I weigh the pros and cons of whether to live or die? Numerous struggles and hassles and not ONE positive to stick around,...
What would you do?
I am just so fucking tired of the struggle with no joy or happiness to make it worth the pain,...
I just don't see the point in carrying on when it's such a pain in the ass just to get basic needs.
I just don't see the point in the struggle.
Why do I continue to suffer? When it all it takes is one jump into the gorge and everything will be over,...
The pain,... the poverty,... the lonliness,... the hate,.... all gone in one leap.
Peace
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