Do I need a will?

I think of nothing but death now. How to do it,... when to do it,... I am so miserable in life I just need to die and that is all I think about.

I am a fucking nobody

I want someone to SEE what mark did and care,... but noone does,... and that tells me that he will continue to harrass me.

I have no support in this.

I need to come up with a FAIL-PROOF plan to kill myself. Not a half assed attempt that will just land me in Homewood. I need to do something that will leave me DEAD.

I refuse to go in HOmewood ever again. Why don't these people ask what happened in Homewood that freaked me out so bad I won't accept help if it might put me back there.

I would rather DIE than go inside Homewood again. You should all be asking why,.... not throwing me back in there to be traumatized again.

So how,... how,... how,... I still want to OD on fentanyl but that would mean I have to take a taxi into Guelph and maybe even get a hotel room for the night so I can track some down on the streets.

That sounds like a lot of work. It will be easier just to jump into the gorge. It will be TERRIFYING,... but if I can find that courage to jump??? It will all be overwith.

No Mark and Darren telling me when I can go outside for a smoke. They are getting away with being BULLIES but noone cares.

I need to do this sooner than later. My mental health is deteriorating rapidly now. If I leave it to much longer,... I will get stuck homeless and then life will REALLY be miserable. I need to do it before October 31st which is the date I gave housing to be out of my apartment. I will be homeless after that,...

Maybe people should be asking "What is going on in that building that she would rather DIE than live there?" Maybe they should ask THAT,....

I am definitely done. It is now just a matter of how,... and I have some plans. 

I don't know if I need a will or not. I don't have anything. I dont' plan on leaving anythign to my children. They didn't want me in life,... they don't need to be burdened with me in death.

I will leave a note saying I have NO next of kin.

I wish to be cremated and my ashes buried with my biological grandfather, "Victor Holyoak" as I have no other family. It says my grandmother is buried with him but she is not,... so there is a vacant space with my Grandfather.

I dont' feel a connection to the Morgans anymore. I dont' feel like they are my family. I want nothing to do with them in death. They will just complain I gave them work and burdened them with all the paperwork connected to my death. 

No,... I am a pauper and I will be treated like on in death. I have $4000 left which will cover the cost of the cremation.

Noone wanted me in life,....

So I make my own plans in death,.... 

Good ridance to bad rubbish,...

Ding dong the wicked witch is dead,......

My last and only wish,.... I wish someone had stuck up for me in the gazebo,... everyone staying silent just solidified they all agree with Darren and mark,....

I wished just one person had stood up and cared,....

But I am a mentally ill monster and I just need to die