Why am I even fucking alive?

I am dying where I am,... I desperately need to get out of Ontario Housing. But I can't,.... noone will take a chance and rent to me.

I am going insane just sitting here in my livingroom day after day bored out of my mind watching tv. I was not built to sit infront of a tv all day,... I need to DO things,...

But living 'down here' has you so trapped you can't do anything. 

I want to travel so bad. I finally have a few extra dollars and I would love to travel. But I can't,... I can't find anyone to sign my passport application. What kind of world do i live in where I'm not allowed to travel becasue noone will sign for my passport. How can this be? Just becasue of my life situation I dont' know a lot people. I can't believe that I am STUCK in my life because of OTHER people saying no,....

story of my life,.... NO,... NO,.... NO,....

I can't spend anymore time in this apartment shrivelling up and dying inside. I need to make a life for myself. But there just seems to be too many opsticles holding me back. 

I'm not asking to win the lottery people,.... I'm only asking for a passport to open the door to travel,.... 

I can't believe that my life is so empty and every thing I do to change it just gets thrown in my face with a NO!

I'm poor ~ not a criminal ~ yet I am made to feel like I have done something wrong and now I don't get what others seem to get so easily and without thought,....

All i want to do is go on a vacation outside of Canada,....

I can't sit infront of the tv one more fucking day,....

If I can't get out and have a real life like the rest of the community seems to have? Then whats the fucking point of breathing?

I have the motivation to travel and have a life,....

But for some reason this world won't let me,....

I am so close to just giveing up. 

All I want is a fucking vacation,.... I have the money,... but my country won't recognize me to get a passport,....

I'm so depressed and frustrated at how every time I try and mvoe forward - I get told NO,.... you can't have that!!!!!!!!!

Why am I even fucking alive???????