What a snowy winter wonderland it is out there today. Big fluffy white flakes falling from the sky enveloping the ground with a soft white layer. It's so pretty.
In light of Ontario Housing letting us know that they will be installing cameras around the building, I decided to take it one step furthur. I already have a doorbell camera. I got that a few years ago when my packages were getting stolen. The minute I installed a camera,... the stealing stopped.
For over 5 years now Tonya has been lying about me saying I did stuff I didn't do. The problem was there was no way to prove a negative. How do you prove you didn't do something? In the end it was always my word against hers and they always believed HER. So today I fixed that. I got an indoor camera for my apartment. To prove I don't smoke in my unit. Noone will know I have it,... so the next time someone decides to lie and tattle that I am smoking? I will simply let them see my indoor cam. NOTHING TO HIDE. Sure, it's an invasion of my privacy. But to me the ability to prove to housing I am not doing anything,.... is priceless.
So go ahead Tonya - lie again,.... now there are cameras EVERYWHERE!!!! I finally feel a bit protected from her intrusive little games. Now she can't accuse me of ANYTHING anymore as I have video evidence she is LYING!
FINALLY I feel safe from the cunt,... the police had suggested this a few months ago but at the time I thought it was too intrusive. But after thinking about it I decided my privacy will just have to come second to my peace of mind that Tonya Halls can no longer LIE about me!!!! THAT is priceless,....
I have decided that I am not going to do anything with the lawyer until the new year now. Doing my end of life stuff took more out of me than I thought. It's kind of creepy picking out your own plot and headdstone. But I got it all done. I just felt I needed a break from all the 'end of life' stuff for a bit. So I am going to leave it until January now.
I am still having way too many problems becasue of my hands. I thought I would buy some carrots and potatoes to make a crock pot dinner. I haven't been eating well at all as I can't cook anymore. My hands are just too painful. But I thought I would give it another try. But nope,... my hands just wont work. I tried peeling both the carrots and the potatoes but it was just too painful and I had to give up.
And this is my new problem,... I can't make meals anymore. So I live off of ceral and other easy to make things. I don't know what I am going to do about these hands. They are just in pain all the time now. It's getting so I can't look after myself anymore. *** sigh *** but with no doctor what can I do? So I just suffer. But I know I can't go on like this for much longer. I need the use of my hands back,... but how? It makes me so mad that other people get health care but I have had to suffer with such severe pain I have decided to end my life.
Does anyone care? Not a soul,... I am just expected to carry on.
I need fucking health care!!!!!!!!!!! I won't last much longer without it. And more to the point I don't want to last much longer withhout it. It's just too hard,....
So today I will hide away as always inside my apartment as the world goes on around me ~ without me,....
I really do hate my life and I really do want to end it,...
How did I ever end up here?
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