Stress is slowly killing me

For anyone who knows about blood pressure, looking at this reading has probobly made you do a double take. For those not aware,... a normal adult bp is 120/80. This has my systolic reading nearly DOUBLE. This is an emergency reading,.... but I will NOT call 911. 

Roll on DEATH!

This is all stress. I am only 62. If things were better for me I could be happy living another 25 years. But I am miserable living in this building. I will NEVER have a life staying in this building. I can't even leave my unit for the bullying,.... it has made me a recluse in these four walls and I can't take it anymore,..... 

Yet,... over the past year I have tried everything to escape this building but in the end I was just scammed and lost everything. I have had to rebuild everything since then.

I will die living here,... look at that blood pressure,.... I NEED to get out of here.

I am almost done with my end of life care. I just have to go into town and get a cheque made out to them to pay for it. In the end it has cost me $15,000.00 to buy a plot and a headstone. It was another $2000 for the pre-paid cremation. I did not even include a funeral in all of that and it has come out to nearly $20,000 with all the small incidentals on top. 

This does not even include a FUNERAL ~ just the burial.

If I hadn't been hit by a car and got a small settlement,... I would be too poor to die. But instead I have taken my money and spent it all on my end of life care.

Who knew it cost $20,000 just to get buried. 

But,... I don't complain. I couldn't use the money on anything else as noone would rent to me to give me a better life. And knowing I can't escape this building I decided I would rather die than continue living. So I choose to waste the money on my death.

But I am glad of what I am doing. Bringing the four Holyoak/Dyer/Ball women back together again. if only in eternity,... THAT I will never regret.

So today I sit here,... hoping my blood pressure causes me to have a fatal heart attack so I can finally be at PEACE.

If someone would just take a chance on me and rent me a place,... life could be good again,.... but noone will take a chance on me,.....