When I make a decision I don't let the grass grow

Well when I make a decision I don't procrastinate. Now that I know I am moving to BC I have already put the gears in motion. I put a bunch of stuff up for sale on Marketplace and have already sold a dozen things. 

I know I should slow down as nothing has been set in writing yet. But I hate it here so much I jsut can't stop myself from starting the process of getting the hell out of here. And in the end,... even if my plans in BC don't work out?

There is always the Downtown Eastside in Vancouver,... Canada's worst drug infested area. Getting a fatal dose of fentenyl here will be so easy,... I never want to have to do this,... but I won't be able to find the courage to make the leap to BC if i don't have that 'safety net'. Because once I give Ontario Housing my notice I am leaving,... that is it. There is no turning back.

My plan is to fly to Nanaimo on June 30th and look for a place to live. Buy an RV or rent a temperary place until I can find an RV to buy and a park to put it in. All of this could take a lot of time. So I am probobly going to have to fly back home and then tie up all the lose ends and then fly back to BC a second time. This way, I can bring a lot more with me as I am hoping to leave my stuff at my cousins and come home with an empty suitcase so I can bring the rest back on my second trip. I will probobly still have to mail out boxes through Canada Post like I did last year for the remainder. But this way I can bring everything I want to bring as long as it fits into a suitcase.

I am so excited. I have not told anyone yet. But I put up a bunch of posts on Facebook selling stuff in marketplace so my friends will all have seen that and will probobly wonder why I am selling all my things again.

I also put a post up saying I have to rehome Molly and Murphy. I just said due to unforeseen circumstances I am losing my home and need to rehome my kittens,...etc,... The problem is I don't want my family to know what I am doing - not yet anyway. I wanted to have some concrete plans before I say anything. But now someone on Facebook will have seen the post and will probobly let them know,... (I don't have them as friends) so far noone has contacted me to ask me anything. Not surprized. My experience over the years has told me noone cares what I am doing. So with that in my mind now,... I just live for me. I would just rather not have my family sending nasty messages about it. I just want to go and put it all behind me. It's been nearly a year since I last talked with them and noone has extended an olive branch. So I think I have to admit defeat and realize they are never going to.

Time to live for yourself. I need a life of my own. I have been 'on hold' for so long that I am miserable. Now I need to just do it,... just make some plans for your future and just do it.