Fuck you Ontario for leaving me to rot with no health care at all

It is a dreary overcast day. Cold,... wet,... not very inviting at all. I dont' think I am going to get outside again today,... :( So I guess it's another day of trying to fill in way too many empty hours. So boring,... I can't take the monotony of watching tv shows I have already seen. Over and over again,... time is my enemy now.

My pain has increased and i dont' know why. But I can barely cope with it anymore. If it stays this bad i may have to move my plans up and do it sooner.

I just can't cope with this pain anymore,....

And I am so angry and resentful and bitter that I know all I need is 5 surgeries and I could be well again. But with no doctor, they won't give surgeries,.... no office to do the admin which is a joke full of irony as I used to be a medical administrator ~ I could do the paper work myself!!!!!!!!! But no family doctor = no health care which equals UNNECESSARY overwhelming pain I can't deal with.

I am going to commit suicide becasue I have no family doctor to do paper work for my surgeries I so desperately need,... again,... rules and regulations come before a human soul suffering,...

I am not complaining anymore to anyone,... infact I have given up. I have started my new plan and it means I will be dead and buried before anyone realizes I am gone,...

I am refusing to live in pain becasue I dont' have a family doctor which means I won't get the health care I need,....

I am an invisable piece of shit that isn't worth saving apparently,... 

So this province,... this country,.... has NO fucking say what I do now. I asked for help ~ and got none and was left in severe overwhelming pain

You dont see me? Then you won't even notice I'm gone,...

Fuck you all for leaving me alone to rot,....

FUCK YOU ALL