This place is killing me. The people in this building make my life a misery. Between bullying and bullshit I just can't take one more day.
Yesterday I decided to go out to the gazebo for the first time in awhile. There is a fairly new guy that was out there that I have seen once or twice but dont' really know who he is as he is from the Traverse side - not the Ontario Housing side. Anyway, he is in a wheelchair but I dont' know why and I never ask people about their private business. So I just started my usual pass the time chat. Weather is a bit crap,... that kind of thing. Next thing you know he pulls out a pipe and starts smoking I don't know what crack,... meth,... whatever it is drug addicts smoke.
Then he proceeds to tell me that he used to play on the national hockey team and then a minute later he said he played rugby for the national team. Wow he is so good at sports he plays on the national team for two different sports? And all this with meth mouth and no teeth. This is what I have to put up with here. Bullshit, drugs, abuse,.... yet they won't give me a transfer.
How much bullying and bullshit do I have to deal with before I end up commiting suicide as I just can't take it anymore.
How loud do I have to shout to be heard???????
I hate this place and I would rather DIE than live here.
WHY can't Ontairo Housing help me????? Because they just don't want to as they think I'm a complaing 'karen'. I can guarantee you that if this woman that works at Ontario Housing - the woman who is deniying me help - if SHE had to see what I see everyday in HER neighbourhood ~ she would be disgusted and fight to get it cleaned up. But because she only works here and doesn't live here - it doesn't bother her that we are bullied and threatened until we are suicidal. She uses the 'sorry I can't help you - rules and regulations!' which is bullshit. If she truyly cared, she would look into it for me and get me that emergency transfer. But she doesn't want to,... I dont' know why. You will have to ask her why she doesn't care I am being bullied and harrassed so bad I am suicidal. I have told her,... I have written it to her in writing to make it official (several times) yet - I am still INVISABLE and unworthy of helping.
Between the meth heads in the gazego (along with the bullying) and the nasty gargoyles who sit in the lobby and just harrass people I am not going to live here anymore. I have tried for 2 years to find another place but affordable housing in Canada is non-exixtent now. Canada has priced me right out of living so I have no where to go.
What would you do? I have phoned the legal aid,... I have complained to whoever will listen (which isn't many as noone wanted to listen) but I have found that the poor are invisable and not worth helping to the rest of the world. Oh wait,... yeah,.. they will help you. But the only help they have available is MENTAL HEALTH. And they keep houding and harrassing me trying to make me feel as if this whole situatrion is all mental health related. BULLSHIT. The truth is I need housing - badly - but you refuse to help with that so you tell yourself I am mentally ill in crisis and need to go to homewood. THEN you can feel like you 'helped' pat yourselves on the back - we put away antoher crazy,....
I'm not crazy, I am bitter,... mad,.... resentful that I have been thrown away and left to rot. I need physical help now as I am disabled. I need help getting groceries, and doing laundry,... THATS the help I need but insteaad you send ambulnaces and cops to my door threatening to break my door down!!!!!!!!!! Thats inhumane.
You can keep 'your help' and I will just do what I need to do to escape this ridiculous and miserable situation I have been trapped in.
You won't help society??????? Then I do what I need to do to find peace,....
I asked for help,.... but you guys are so heavy handed and so focused on the wrong thing, that I gave up asking for help.
Fuck you all ~ now I do it my way,.... DIE!
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