It's time to re-evaluate. Nothing is working and I need to sit down and ask myself why,... and the answer is ~ no car. I cannot do anything without a vehicle. So I have sat down and tried to make a plan. How to dig myself out of this horrible situation I am in.

So first things first, I have to get my drivers license. So i called a driving school and left a message to ask if they do refresher courses for people whos license has relapsed. Once I get a license, I will have to look at getting a car. 

Getting a car changes everthing. Now all my money will be put towards insurance, maintenance, and gas. All very expensive things. But I know that no transportation is my biggest worry. I am literally trapped here without a car.

So I was thinking,.... instead of moving,... how about buying a small motorhome or van?? Instead of moving,... I can travel. It's just a thought at this point. I dont know how feasable it is. But I will just take things one step at a time. First ~ get my license. That is the most important thing to do right now. Once I have that, I can start looking at vehicles. If I get a camper van, I can travel. Obviously there are a lot of hidden costs to this lifestyle so I would have to do a thorough research into it but it has to be better than sitting in this apartment getting bullied every time I open my door.

And maybe,.... just maybe,... I can plan a huge trip all across Canada to find a new place to live. In a vehicle it will be 100% easier.

I dont want to die ~ i just feel completely trapped. If I can find a way to escape this hell hole, it could mean the difference between suicide and thriving.

But one step at a time,.... today I concentrate on getting my license back and then I can think of step 2.