Life has become unbearable

It's Sunday morning. Without having Molly & Murphy here, I slept in until seven o'clock. I am sat here with my coffee watching all my 'off-grid' youtube channels. "Skote Outdoors", "Jay Legere" "Holdfast Alaska",.... all people living life how I want to. If I was 25 again I would drop everything, buy land and live off-grid. But unfortunately I am not 25 anymore. I am going to be 63 in September. And I am considered 'legally disabled' so I would never be able to run an off-grid homestead on my own. It would just be too physical for me. (Now if I had someone to go in with me that would be golden,... but I have noone to do this with sadly).

But I can't tell you how sick of people i am right now. I think our government is scamming us working for the elite and rich while us poor go under. I think the new generation of kids (at leasst the ones living here) are spoiled and entitled. I just feel like there are no morals or respect left ~ at least in this building. And sadly, I dont' see life outside of this building. I am trapped inside with the addicts and people living on the fringes of society. I have had my fill of these folks and I am getting out ~ one way or another. I am either going to find a place to live finally or I will just take a fentanyl overdose to end it all. But either way I will not be living in this hell hole ever again.

Now I dont' want to die so I am fighting tooth and nail to find a place to call my own. But this world just seems to be against me. I have Just over $100,000 in  my bank account but the downfall is I only get $1500 a  month to live on. It's my monthly income that is the challenge.

If there is anyone reading this who can help ~ PLEASE reach out! I need a place to live. An RV, a trailer, a mobile home,... it doesn't matter. As long as I can afford it I will be happy.

BUT WHERE?

I have been scouring the internet looking for anywhere in Canada. Ontario is preferable as my monthly income will be a lot more as I won't lose my ODSP (disability). If I move out of province, I lose nearly $600 of my monthly income so Ontario is the best place to stay. But I will move anywhere if I can find somewhere affordable.

My biggest hurdle is having no car to view these places. My life just seems to be one big challenge. And at the end of each hurdle seems to be a "no". A roadblock,... a wall,.... a dead end,...

Surly to God, there has got to be a little slice of land somewhere I can buy with a well already on it. I can do electricity myself with solar generators and I am not beneath using an outhouse instead of sewage system. The only thing I definitely need and can't do without is water. I would need land with a well already on it.

But all of this seems to be pipe dream,....

I KNOW there is a place somewhere in Canada where I can do this,... but the million dollar question is where? Because right now I can't find it. 

Please let me find a place to live, God. I really don't want to die. But I refuse to live homeless or in this building so if I can't find land or a place to live ~ I will end my life.

Because life right now is unbearable and I just can't do it anymore,....