I do nothing but watch tv all day long. For the most part, it is boring as I have seen everything multiple times. But there are still a couple of things I do enjoy a lot and that is Sunday morning of YouTube. This is the day that the 3 vloggers I follow drop their weekly videos. And they are all "off-grid" living off of nature videos.
I hate the city now. I am stuck deep in "the system" and can't get out even though I have tried numerous times. But every time I just get thrown back down here as if the world thinks this is the only place I belong.
So I dream of a life I can't have. I love nature,... I love the forest and water. If money was no object I would live in the woods. In a cabin with my cats and maybe a dog. But whereever it ended up being - there would be no people. Just me and my animals enjoying life.
No trolls,... gossips,... liars,... no bullies or "the system". Instead FREEDOM.
But that life isn't available to me. So instead I live vicariously through these 3 vloggers.
"Skoot Outdoors" https://www.youtube.com/@skoteoutdoors
"Jay Legere" https://www.youtube.com/@jaylegere
"Sailing Supernova" https://www.youtube.com/@sailing.supernova
It's my weekly escape from a world I hate. Trapped so deep in the system I can't get out. These vloggers are living the life I WANT to live but can't.
There is nothing sadder than being displaced in life. I don't belong here. NOONE belongs in the system. Yet, here I am. Stuck,... miserable,...
I made some final decisions yesterday. WHO my money will go to. I am not disclosing it on here but suffice to say NOONE in my family will ever see a dime. Infact, I will be asking the lawyer if he can put a thing in the will that basically makes my children no longer my LEGAL next of kin. I dont' know if it's legal to denounce your next of kin but I am. I needed my girls the past few years but they choose to ignore me and call me too mental to be in their lives. Thats their decision and I cann't change it. But I can do something about it when it comes to my death.
YOU DIDN'T WANT ME IN LIFE ~ YOU DONT GET MY MONEY AFTER MY DEATH.
This is my daughters choice. THEY made the decision to not have me in their life. So I am just taking it one step furthur and getting in in legal terms. LEGALLY CUTTING TIES WITH MY CHILDREN.
THAT is how much they have hurt me.
So I have divided my money into several payouts being given to all the people who helped me when I was homeless. When my own family saw my struggle but choose to judge me and tell me to stay the fuck out of Ontario, I was quietly taking stock of who WAS helping me. And THEY are getting my money.
I don't know how lawyers and wills work. Once I die, who distributes the money? Does the lawyer do that? Or is that why we need an executor? Because I really don't have anyone to ask to be an executor. I am not close to anyone. I literally have NOONE in my life. I guess I will find out all the answers when I have my appointment on December 2nd.
But until then I have to get up every morning. I don't want to but I have to. I cannot leave this earth until my will is legal so I can be assured that my children get NOTHING.
How sad. How very, very sad. That my life is so miserable I literally can't wait to die,.... very, very sad.
A Week Off-Grid on an Island – Building, Cooking & a Birthday Surprise
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