It's nearly four in the morning and I am awake. My pain is so bad I can't even think strait. My hands have what can only be described as 'electric shocks'. Painful. I can't take it anymore,.... Deep hot strings of pain shooting thorugh my hands constatly. I just cant take it!!!!!
But today I have to walk the cats to the vets for their surgery. (We have one taxi in this town and it's always busy so I can never get it) Both of them are getting fixed today. Murphy also has a hernia to be repaired. But a storm is on the way,... and it looks like I will have to walk them there on my walker during a snow storm. The ONE DAY I wanted good weather. And on top of this,... Ontario Housing has decided that today is the day they have closed down the elevaters for scheduled repairs. They sent a memo around last week saying it will be closed. They left a number to call if we need help that day so I called it ~ but guess what?
I was fucking IGNORED AGAIN!
No call back. So no help. I have to lug 2 cats and a walker down 3 flights of stairs so I can get them to the vets. And now,.... HOW do i bring 2 POST SURGEY cats up 3 flights of stairs to get them home??????? I think housing does these memos so they won't get sued. They do it as its the law and they are required to do it to cover their asses. But then when we try and call for help with the number they supply? We get no answer. I left a detailed message saying I had an appointment and need help to get down to the lobby that morning,... but nothing. NO REPLY! Do you think thats intentional? Do you think they never intended to help anyone? or just me????? But I have to wonder as I asked for help for my broken fob for the automatic door opener. I put in 3 requests for that and none were answered (so I got upset and threw the fob and got an eviciton threat) So they do what they have to do legally in paper work,... but they never answer when we call that number!!!. And when we get frustrated and show any anger or emotion about it at all???? We get threatened. So THEY can do nothing,... and they dont get thrreatened with being thrown out of THEIR homes,.... only we do. WHY? Because we are low-life poverty scum they dont care about.
And this is proof. I phoned them to ask for help for todays vet appointment and got NO REPLY and it's been over 6 days I asked. They have no intention of helping us - they just covered their legal asses with a memo saying to call to ask for help. But they have no intention of answering anyone,.... so their asses are covered,... they did what they legally had to do,... so they wont get in trouble.
But I now have to lug 2 cats and a walker and all my stuff down ~ and then back up ~ three flights of stairs. I'm 62 - disabled - and in a lot of pain and can't really do it. But I guess I have no choice. THIS is Ontario Housing living. IGNORED and left to fend for yourself.
To this day noone cares that I was bullied out of the gazebo,... noone batted an eye,.... just deal,.... thats life here. Your on your own so just deal on your own. And my way of dealing now is ~ I can't,.... I can't deal anymore. And THAT is why I will be dead and out of this fucking compound by spring.
It's too hard living here and I cant' do it anymore. How would you feel if your mother was forced to have to drag a walker and 2 cats up 3 flights of stairs???? Not nice,....
I am already in so much pain I can't think strait - yet now I have to physaiclly do shit I shouldn't be doing because there just isn't any help.
I am a fucking loser noone wants and has been thrown away to rot and fend for myself.
But I can't anymore. I can't. I dont have anything left to fight anymore,...
So fuck Ontario Housing,... and ODSP (still waiting to hear if I am allowed to keep it) fuck Fergus, and Wellington County in Ontario. Fuck my family for saying I am too mentally ill to love,... fuck everyone for the same thing,...
If I'm too mentally ill and hated? Then it's time to leave,....
fuck you all,... I am miserable and all any of you did was WATCH. That was so devastating to me that all i could see was noone cared and noone is ever going to care
so fuck you all ~ I'm done suffering,....
No comments:
Post a Comment