If I could,... I would pack up Murphy and Molly and go away for Christmas. This apartment holds such bad memories. I long to get out of here. If transportation was not a problem I would drive up north and rent a cabin on a lake. It would have a lovely large deck on the front with a big picture window. It's quite rustic. But thats how I like it.
I would sit infront of the fire with the kittens curled up on my lap. There isn't any internet so far north so I spend my time reading. Or writing. Music plays softly in the background. Christmas carols. There would be no tree with 2 kittens. But there would be a couple of presents. Cat toys for M & M. Not much. Christmas isn't about gifts.
I would walk onto the deck while the snow fell around me. Big white fluffy flakes. A coffee in my hand I would just stand there and smile. Nature,... Peace,... things I don't get anymore. I wouldn't need anyone with me. Just the kittens. People make me anxious and nervous now.
My body is so dead inside right now. It desperately needs rejuvinating. I need change,... I need to get away from this apartment,.. I need peace.
But I don't have a car. So instead I will sit here pretending it's just another Friday.
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