I'm sorry that I am not all hearts and rainbows and unicorns,... but my life leaves me depressed and miserable. I lost yet another friend becasue she texted me asking how I was and I told her truthfully. I am not good. I dont' make enough to exist and I am going to lose my apartment. I never heard from her again. We had spoken a few weeks prior and she was all "You have to look at the good side of life and you have to look for gratitude" She wanted me to start a new blog - hiding my real feelings and pretending to be good just to keep others happy. Noone wants to listen to a whiner. I get that. But there is NO joy or happiness or any positivity in my life at all. Just severe PAIN and poverty and boredom and lonliness. Yet unless I PRETEND to be happy to placate the middle class - then noone wants to know or hear about my misery.
I guess when you live in poverty and pain you have to PRETEND your ok or noone wants to know. I told the truth to that question and she stopped talking to me. I guess that was the last straw for her. But guess what? When you are in pain all day ~ it leaves you MISERABLE. It's not ok to feel pain all day long. When you are hungry a lot and can't get food ~ it leaves you MISERABLE. Living a life of isolation becasue you can't even afford to do one damn thing that others can afford - it leaves you resentful and lonely and isolated. becasue if you cant pay your way,... drive there yourself,... then people get tired of asking you to go anywhwere. i dont blame them,... if I had to pay and drive all the time, I would DUMP that person too. And they all did,... becasue noone wants to listen to a whiner,....
But I have no choice. i am forced to live in PAIN. I am forced to live in poverty and that leaves me miserable and therefore noone wants to know. I try being in a good mood but who can when there is nothing postive to be happy or content for?? It's all pain,... poverty,... hunger,... (yes - read that again - hunger in 2025 in CANADA) and stress and worrying about being homeless because you can't pay the rent,... it's IMPOSSIBLE to be happy and in a good mood. Add on top of that mental illness and my life is a miserable mess.
So i apologize to my 'friends' who have everything THEY need ~ but expect me to be happy when i have nothing of what I need,... I'm sorry I'm not all hearts and rainbows and unicorns - but this life is FUCKING HARD and leaves you miserable.
And to have the world shut you out because they dont' want to see poverty and misery and if I show it - then bye bye Jacquie,... noone likes a moaner or a whiner,... so dump her and let her sit in her own misery and suffer. If shes going to be miserable then dump her,....
I'm sorry that life has beaten me down to this. But here I am. MISERABLE,... poor and in pain. The lesson I have learned with this?? Noone wants to be around people suffering becasue we are not happy and we bring you all down.
I have no choice. I am beinf FORCED to live this misery. And now,... I have lost everyone who even remotely cared becasue I ahve tthe audacity to not be able to rise above my situation and be happy.
Let me tell you,... I have not been happy for years. I have been SUFFERING for years,... And I have been sinking lower and lower with each passing year. Now,... I am completely alone and people want nothing to do with me.
Poor people are to stay away from. They are miserable
SHE'S miserable ~ just dump her and leave her alone,....
And the world has
And I am miserable
I just need to end this ridiculous life.
Because now - my pain and poverty and mental illness have driven everyone away.
If you are not one of the happy people in life - then you will suffer alone.
This is not a life ~ This is TORTURE and I just need to die
When you live on such an UNLIVABLE wage and you are still happy? Then I guess you can judge,... but until then,... you have no clue what life in severe poverty is like. t's fucking MISERABLE
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