Don't want to bother struggling on

I have no pots and pans. I cannot cook anything. I gave away a beautiful set of pots and pans and now I have to buy more???

No,... I give up. I am not wasting one more penny on re-buying what I already had and loved. 

I have totally given up now. I have nothing i need. I gave it all away - GAVE IT ALL AWAY because a woman tried to sell me a pipe dream that never existed and I ~ like an absolute fool ~ believed every fucking word she said.

And now ~ I have nothing

I can't even cook because i have no pots and pans,... 

I don't even have tools,....

I have no food again but even though I have some vouchers for Zehrs - I can't get there.

I'm so sick of the struggle.

I HAD EVERYTHING I NEEDED but now have nothing,....

I am not starting over at 61 years of age.

I'm in severe pain today and I physically can't fuction. I physically cannot do this anymore,....

I am now kicking the furniture out of the way when I walk by because I am so angry. I don't even own tools to put them together. And my crippled hand made sure I wasn't capable. All the furniture is now is a reminder that I am a useless piece of shit that can't fuction anymore. So it makes me angry and I am now kicking it out of the way in anger. It will all be broken soon as I just can't stand looking at it. 

I am a fucking failure

I'm fucking HUNGRY ~ but I can't get to the store,....

I need help

But no help is coming

Becasue I am HATED and noone will help. Why? Because I deserve all the shit I'm going through because I'm so mentally ill noone wants to help me becauue they are all enjoying my struggle

LOOKS GOOD ON YOU CUNT!!!!!!

I just need to disapear and e3nd the struggle.

I refuse to lose another apartment becasue I'm so poor I can't pay rent,...

I refuse to hav eto buy my life over again,....

I refuse to spend another fucking holiday alone becasue noone likes me

I refuse to struggle any longer

I refuse to have to start over with nothing

Just imagine people leave when you enter,.... I refuse to be the hated mentally ill monster 

I refuse to struggle on any longer

FUCK YOU world for throwing me away and leaving me to fend for myself when I'm too fucking old and crippled,...

Obviously noone gives one shit about what happens to me so why the fuck struggle on????

I can't do this but noone seems to care,... instead they are happy that I am suffering,...

I am the mentally ill monster that just needs to fucking DISAPPEAR!!!!!