Even in death I have noone

I have just realized that if I die tomorrow,... even when I get to heaven I will not know who will be waiting for me. Becasue both of my families have thrown me away. 

So when I get to the pearly gates of heaven,... noone will be waiting for me. I have no family. I have no connection to anyone on this planet anymore. I am 100% alone.

So when they find me dead,... who will care? I have no official next of kin. I have absolutely noone in my life at all. 

I am such a monster and so unwanted and so unloved that not even in death will anyone claim me.

I will leave written instructions to cremate me. But there isn't even anyone to claim my remains. They will probobly sit on some morgue shelf - unclaimed and unwanted - forever. 

Because even in death I am a monster that noone wants.

I am not worth a livable wage so I suffer in poverty but noone cares.

So when I die,... just cremate me and throw me away,....

Because that is all I was ever worth in this life,.... being thrown away and left to rot 

Even in death ~ I have noone